


When the Gods Go Begging

by St_Salieri



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Animal Transformation, M/M, Medical Experimentation, Science Fiction, Supernatural and J2 Big Bang Challenge 2014
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 04:07:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1843771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/St_Salieri/pseuds/St_Salieri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen Ackles grew up on the moon Geda II with the remnant of humanity that escaped a dying Earth a few generations ago. His dream is to be a Conservator, trusted with the care and preservation of the surviving species of Earth. After becoming a mentor to a new trainee named Jared, it seems as if all his dreams will come true. His world is shaken when he and Jared become the unwitting subjects of a new experiment that leaves them both as something more than human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When the Gods Go Begging

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [SPN J2 Big Bang 2014](http://spn-j2-bigbang.livejournal.com/)
> 
> Please see the the wonderful art by delicioussakura [here](http://delicioussakura.livejournal.com/5526.html).
> 
> Thank you so much to enigmanticblues for the beta work. Comments are always appreciated!

 

Jensen Ackles was twenty-six years old and had never seen the Earth.

This fact in no way made him unusual – the last human to lay eyes on their home planet had died before Jensen's grandparents had been born. Even so, the image of Earth and everything it symbolized was deeply embedded in his subconscious, a cultural memory that ran like a river through the human diaspora that lived on second moon of Geda.

Jensen had grown up hearing the stories of life on Earth, back in the days when humans thought they were the only intelligent life in the universe. He was suspicious that at least some of what he heard was more myth than history – was it really possible that there were not just dozens but _hundreds_ of different governments all living together on one planet? – but he still hungered for the tales passed on from the original survivors. He pored over texts and vids that showed the vast expanse of life that had existed on Earth That Was. He visited the sanctuaries that housed the different species of plants and animals that had been saved when Earth was finally abandoned. He dreamed of an empty night sky that shone with thousands of stars without the bulk of the gas giant Geda to hide them.

Above everything else, he learned how much humanity owed to the Gedans, and how much he had to be grateful for.

All human children, from the time they were very young, were taught how perilously close the Earth had come to being destroyed by the selfishness and short-sightedness of those who had lived there. Jensen had seen the images of a beautiful blue-green world drowned by rising seas and choked by runaway pollution, the leaders of the largest countries helpless to make more than a token resistance against a problem hundreds of years in the making. Humanity was lucky that their first encounter with an alien species had been with one wise enough and generous enough to help them instead of conquer them.

When the Gedans offered one of the moons in their system as a sanctuary, humanity had gladly accepted.

Well, most of humanity had accepted. There were stories told of a few stubborn holdouts who had refused to evacuate. Whether out of a distrust of the Gedans or an emotional attachment to their dying planet – the motive depended on who was telling the story – it was said that a minority of humans refused to abandon the Earth. No one knew what had happened to them. All contact with the Earth had been lost when the last Gedan ship had left, carrying thousands of survivors on board. Most people thought that that last remnant had died off years ago, finally swallowed in the cataclysms of Earth, but a handful of others insisted that humanity lived on outside of the Gedan system.

Jensen knew which theory was most likely correct, but he had never been able to shake the romantic attachment to the idea that somewhere out there was another world he had been meant to belong to.

As generous as the Gedans had been, it was obvious that the moon that became the refuge of humanity had never evolved to house most of the life forms that existed naturally on Earth. The earliest settlers had completed a terraforming program (with the help of donated Gedan technology) that took most of a generation to complete. When it was finished, humans could live and work outside instead of huddled in bio-domes, breathing recycled air. Jensen had been told that Geda II was not a perfect match for Earth – nitrogen concentration a bit high, gravity a bit low, extensive polar caps that covered almost a third of the landmass – but it was all he had ever known.

As he grew up, Jensen's mother had indulged his obsession with Earth history and encouraged him to apply for a place in the Conservator program when he had finished with his advanced schooling. The day the acceptance letter arrived was one of the happiest days of his life.

 

********************

 

Jensen pressed his thumb to the lock-pad and waited for it to signal its acceptance with a soft beep. The jaw-cracking yawn caught him off guard with its suddenness, and he did his best to hide it in his elbow as the door swung open. Of course, he didn't so much manage to hide the yawn as to fumble his belongings and spill half of his coffee down the front of his pants. He yelped at the heat and cursed, stepping inside the door and dropping the cup and a stack of datapads onto the nearest desk.

"Smooth, Ackles."

Jensen rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Whitfield."

A chuckle was the only response. Charles Whitfield may have been his boss on paper, but in the four years that Jensen had worked for him he'd never stood on ceremony. The only times he abused his rank was when he forced Jensen to put a temporary halt to his observations and write up his conclusions – something that Jensen knew objectively was important, but had always considered a waste of time. There was also the time he had summarily appointed Jensen to the position of Chief Coffee Maker, but that was a gift considering that Jensen was the only one in the lab who could make a decent cup.

Jensen shuffled his pads into a slightly more organized pile and left them on the desk to make a new pot of coffee to replace what he'd spilled all over himself.

"Kim and Katie?" he asked once the pot had started brewing.

Charles turned swung his chair around and stretched his arms over his head. His back let out an audible crack. "Checking out some discrepancies in the oxygen readings in the eastern habitat," he said. "They're not sure if it's a sensor issue or some unexpected results from the new deciduous hybrid they planted last cycle."

Jensen grunted in response and poured himself a fresh cup, taking a careful sip. Kim Rhodes was the other senior member of their research group. Although she'd been there longer than Charles, she had used her seniority to turn over the leadership position to him as soon as possible.

"More time spent collaborating with the Gedans means less time for my research," she'd said. "Not that I've got anything against them – they're fine, and I'm grateful for everything they've done for us. But let's face it, Charles. You're officially the warmest and fuzziest of the whole prickly lot of us, which is why you're perfect for the job. Besides, I can't help but feel like they're constantly studying us. Can't exactly blame them for that – I'd study them right back if I had the time – but I like being on this side of the microscope."

And so Charles had ended up the leader of their little Sector Two research team almost by default, as it was clear that he was the most personable of the bunch.

The Conservator program had been designed not long after terraforming had been completed on Geda II. Although the moon had been modified to support human life, it wasn't able to replicate the variety of climates and terrains that had existed on Earth. As a result, only a small percentage of the plant and animal life that had been rescued from Earth at the time of the mass human exodus were able to thrive out in the open on their new homeworld. Although most of the bio-domes had been dismantled once the moon's atmosphere had stabilized, a few remained intact as a place to house and nurture those species that still needed time to adapt to life away from Earth. The Conservators were charged with maintaining the health and welfare of the species in their care.

Over the past few generations, human and Gedan scientists had worked together to preserve what they could of Earth that was gone. Some plant and animal species underwent genetic tweaks or selective breeding to better enable them to adapt to life out in the open. Every year, more life forms were able to leave the domes and join humanity under the open sky. It was a slow, gradual process – one that wouldn't be completed in Jensen's lifetime – but one he was honored to be a part of.

"How's the lake going?" Charles asked. "Considering you must have been here most of last night, I'm hoping you have some good news for me."

Jensen nodded and fished one of the datapads out of the pile, handing it over. "Looking good. The population of perch has stabilized, and the frog larvae are within specified targets. I was a little worried about the oxygen saturation, but I want to wait and see what Kim and Katie have to see about that. We might need to bring increase the fern growth in the surrounding area."

Charles looked over the pad and nodded approvingly. The freshwater lake was the reason why Jensen had been asked to join the Sector Two group as soon as he was finished his schooling. Out of all of the different landscapes and climates of old Earth, open water intrigued him the most. He had focused his studies on the bioclimes of both salt and fresh water in the hopes of eventually joining one of the Conservator groups. Geda II didn't have much in the way of extensive open water; it was an arid planet, and lakes and streams had to be carefully maintained. It had taken a long time to find the right combination of algae, insects, fish and amphibians that could survive and thrive in those waters.

Jensen had seen enough pictures of Earth that he could trace out the pattern of its continents with his eyes closed, but he still had a hard time believing that humans had once lived on a planet with so much water. Geda II did not have the vast oceans that Earth had once boasted, and a part of Jensen felt their loss like the ache of a missing limb. He dreamed about the briny smell of salt shores and the cry of seagulls, even though he had never experienced either in person. He still hoped that, one day in the future, Geda II would be hospitable to the open seas.

Charles tapped out his approval to the report and handed the pad back to Jensen. "Good work. I'd like you to run those nitrogen numbers as well, and I'll have Katie consult with you about the ferns." He grinned. "I'm sure she'll have a thing or two to say about them."

Jensen smiled in return. Katie Cassidy had started with the group the year after he'd joined. She was a botanist who had an obsessive love for photosynthesis, a scary sharp mind, and almost no internal filter. Kim had taken her under her wing right away, and the two of them were peas in a pod, almost to the point of finishing each other's sentences. It was almost adorable – in a frightening sort of way.

"Oh, that reminds me," Charles said casually. Something in his voice made Jensen narrow his eyes. Whenever Charles sounded that casual, it was a sign that Jensen would probably hate whatever came out of his mouth next.

"Yeah?" Jensen asked suspiciously.

Charles narrowed his eyes in return and studied Jensen for a moment, and Jensen resisted the impulse to squirm.

"So you know we've been wanting some vertebrate and insect experts ever since Bielmann and Xue transferred over to Sector Five, right?" Charles said. "Well, there are a couple of new grads who I think will make a good addition to our team. I've issued them an invitation to join our sector. They're both pretty green, but I've spoken with their advisors and their guided research has been exceptional. I think, with the right mentoring, they'll be a good fit for what we're missing."

Jensen shrugged. "Yeah, sounds good. I mean, Bilek over in Three is probably sick of us bugging her for help with our mammals. I'd say it's about time we got some fresh blood."

"Excellent!" The wide smile on Charles's face didn't make Jensen any less suspicious than the false casualness had.

The door chimed, and Charles called out a loud, "Yeah, come on in!" As the door slid open, he turned back to Jensen. "I was hoping you'd say that. I'll let Misha fill you in."

The sinking feeling in Jensen's stomach increased. "Misha?" he said dumbly.

"And hello to you too, Jensen."

Misha entered and gave Jensen the bright smile that reminded him of a combination of a kindergarten teacher and a shark. The head of personnel for the southeastern region of Conservators had a perfect memory for the smallest personal details of everyone he'd ever met, along with an evenhanded temperament that allowed him to deal with the most caustic of scientists on a daily basis and still maintain his calm.

As much as he didn't get the guy, Jensen had to give him respect. There probably wasn't another human on the moon who could do the same job so well.

"I was just filling Jensen in on our new hires," Charles said. Misha nodded in approval.

"Perfect timing," he said, handing Jensen a new datapad. "I was so glad to see your request to participate in the mentorship program. I know I've brought it up to you a few times, and I knew you'd come around one of these days."

The sinking feeling had now become a ball of lead in the pit of his stomach. "Request?" At some point, he'd probably succeed in getting out more than one word at time.

Misha squinted at him. "Haven't had your coffee yet? Well, don't worry about it. I'll be here to help you out with whatever you need. All of the details of your new assignment are there."

He clapped Jensen on the shoulder and took a step closer to Jensen. Jensen resisted the automatic urge to take a step back. There was something about the way Misha fixed his unblinking eyes on a person as he talked to them that made the hair on the back of Jensen's stand up. That much direct eye contact couldn't be natural.

"Seriously, Jensen, I think you'll do a great job. There's more to you than you think."

And with one last squeeze of the shoulder and another bright smile, Misha nodded to Charles and disappeared. Jensen stared dumbly at the closed door before narrowing his eyes at Charles.

"Request?" he repeated, glad that it came out more threatening than idiotic this time.

Charles didn't even have the grace to look sheepish. "Yes, request," he said calmly. "The one to mentor one of our new hires. The one I forged your signature to."

He held up his hand as Jensen began to splutter inarticulately. "Jensen," he said kindly. "I know, okay? But this is part of the job, and you're too good to keep putting it off. Education and mentorship is part of what being a Conservator is all about. And yeah, we're all a bunch of over-educated and over-caffeinated misanthropes with poor to mediocre social skills – and I include myself in that group, for what it's worth. Your scientific work over the last few years has been amazing. In fact, Al Habib has been sniffing around – I know he's interested in having you join his new theoretical oceanography program. "

"Really?" Jensen said. "I mean…really? Not that I'd want to leave Sector Two, but…."

Charles smiled. "I get it. And hey, it's not something you have to decide on right now. But I know you, Jensen. I know you'd love nothing better than to get completely buried in your projects and not have to deal with all of the other bullshit. But I think you can be a first-class leader, and not just a first-class scientist. The science is the easy stuff. How about a real challenge?"

"I'm just…I'm not very good with people, okay?"

The words were hard to speak, and Jensen didn't know why. It wasn't like his introverted tendencies were much of a secret. Still, admitting it out loud felt like admitting he was a failure in some way.

"Of course you're not," Charles admitted easily, a grin taking the sting out of the words. "And yet we like you anyway, Ackles."

Jensen sighed heavily, but couldn't find much of an argument to make. He had been lucky enough to receive amazing help and mentorship from so many others along the way – including Charles himself – that it seemed petty to refuse to return the favor.

"You could have at least asked," he said sourly, just for form's sake.

Charles laughed. "No way you would have said yes. You know it, and I know it. Now, hurry up. We've got a meeting with Jill in half an hour and…" he eyed Jensen's coffee-stained pants, "…you probably want to change."

 

********************

 

By the time the shuttle carrying their new team members arrived, Jensen was running even later than usual. The meeting with Jill, one of the resident Gedan scientists, had run long, and then Katie had returned with the latest sensor analysis and started comparing notes with Jensen. It took until after lunch to decide what to do with the ambient oxygen readings, and during that time Jensen completely forgot about the datapad with the information about his new mentee. It wasn't until Charles reminded him that the shuttle was about to land that Jensen suddenly remembered his new duties. He flushed guiltily and shoved the pad in his pocket, following Charles to the landing platform and hoping he'd be able to take a quick look at it and see what exactly his new assignment consisted of.

Jill met them at the platform, giving Jensen the Gedan equivalent of a warm smile. The Gedans lived on the third moon in the same system. They were mostly humanoid in appearance – bipedal, two ears and eyes, symmetric features – but the similarities to humanity ended there. They were taller than most humans, the shortest of the Gedans reaching well over two meters in height. Not surprising, considering the lower gravity of their home moon. Their skin tone tended toward a more bluish complexion, and they were covered with a fine downy hair that reminded Jensen of the lanugo that many human babies were born with. The temperatures of Geda II were higher than strictly comfortable for most of them – especially post-terraforming – and the Gedan scientists mostly preferred to perform their work in air-conditioned labs indoors. Jensen had gotten used to keeping a sweatshirt and scarf handy for whenever he had to visit Jill's lab.

"You are excited for the new arrivals?" she asked in the primary Gedan language. Jensen shook his head wryly.

"As excited as I'll ever be," he answered in English, eying the sky for signs of the approaching shuttle.

The home moon of Geda III housed dozens of languages and their linked dialects, but most humans never bothered to learn more than one of the ones that had naturally gained primacy in the Gedan culture – much as English had in old Earth. Once humans settled themselves in their new home, they took it upon themselves to learn the language they simply called "Gedan". All school children learned Gedan, along with English and whatever other languages their cultural backgrounds or interests dictated. Historians and linguists made sure that the variety of human languages and cultures were not forgotten in the move to a new homeworld.

Although most Gedans and humans were mutually fluent listeners in each other's dominant languages, they tended to speak their own. Something about the different anatomies of the mouth and larynx made it very difficult for each species to actually speak the other's language, and most found it easier to simply listen in one language and speak in another.

"You don't really have to be here," Jensen said, looking up at Jill. She twitched her shoulders in a shrug.

"We will be co-workers," she said. "It is important for them to feel welcome."

"Still getting used to having so many humans around, huh?" Jensen teased.

Jill blushed a bright blue. "After an entire cycle I suppose I should be used to it," she said. "After so much waiting and training on my own world…I suppose it's still a bit strange to actually be here."

"I know what you mean," Jensen murmured as the whine of the approaching shuttle finally made itself known. As they watched, the shuttle touched down gracefully on the landing platform and the door slid open. A couple of human Conservators and a Gedan who Jensen vaguely recognized exited first, followed by two humans who were clearly their two new charges, going by the wide-eyed looks at their surroundings.

"And we're up," Charles murmured, waving them over, and Jensen realized with a panic that he still didn't know which of them he was supposed to mentor.

Both appeared to be several years younger than Jensen, somewhere in their early twenties. They each carried a single duffle of their personal items slung over their shoulder, and Jensen knew from his own experience that the rest of their luggage would be following in an hour or two on one of the larger cargo shuttles. The young woman had bright red hair that framed a pair of large eyes and a pointed chin. She had a bright, inquisitive look on her face, and her eyes lit up when she saw Jill. She elbowed the young man next to her and whispered something as they walked over, and he nodded in return. She looked as if she had energy to spare, which was a little worrisome as far as Jensen was concerned, but there was something about her he instinctively liked.

Her companion was tall – taller than Jensen, almost tall enough to be a Gedan – and he kept his shoulders slumped as if he was self-conscious of that fact. His longish dark hair stuck out over his head as if he had spent the last hour nervously running his fingers through it. There was something almost delicate about his features that contrasted with his more rugged build. Although slim, there was nothing scrawny about his figure. When he saw Charles, his mouth split in a wide grin framed by a pair of deep dimples.

"Mr. Whitfield," he said, holding out a massive paw. "Thanks so much for asking us to be here. It's an honor."

"Please, it's Charles. We're all on the same team here." He nodded at Jensen. "Welcome to Sector Two. Let me introduce you to a couple of members of our group. Jensen Ackles, Jill, this is Felicia Day and Jared Padalecki."

Felicia sketched a bow to Jill in the proper Gedan greeting mode and then held out a hand to Jensen.

"Wow, I've heard so much about you!" she said. "I can't wait to see what you've done with the new swamp. Have you considered whether or not the insect population is.…"

Charles laughed and laid a hand on Felicia's arm, and she blushed and shut her mouth with an audible snap. "I guess you've figured out who our new entomology apprentice is," he said. "I'll be taking her under my wing for the next few months."

"Sorry," Felicia offered with a wry grin. "I guess I'm pretty excited to be here." Jensen took her hand with a smile.

"Hey, not a problem," he said kindly. "I know what it's like to be the new person on board." He looked up at Jared. "I guess that means I'll be working with you?"

Jared held out his hand in turn. His grip was firm, his smile a little crooked at the corners.

"Hey, Jensen. Nice to meet you."

 

********************

 

After several weeks, Jensen was beginning to suspect that he was the worst mentor in the history of humanity.

It wasn't that Jared wasn't capable, because he clearly was. He had a quick mind that picked up details quickly, and he had the enviable ability to combine random observations into a coherent model. He was friendly with everyone in the group, even earning a rare smile from Kim on his second day. And he was clearly eager to receive whatever wisdom Jensen was willing to dish out.

The problem was…Jensen wasn't feeling particularly wise, and he still wasn't sure what he was supposed to be _doing_. He supposed he could ask Charles (or, God forbid, Misha) for advice, but doing so felt too much like failure. He tried to remember back to the days when he was new and Charles and Kim had shown him the ropes, but he couldn't remember anything concrete. They'd made him feel welcome and given him the freedom to pursue his own research, and that was pretty much all Jensen had needed. It had taken him a little while to feel like he was actually part of the group – that he had friends, not just colleagues – but he knew that was entirely due to his own personality and not a slight on his team members.

After a bit of introspection on Jensen's part, he determined that the problem was that Jared didn't seem to need his help, and Jensen didn't quite know what to do with himself as a result. While Jensen watched, Jared fit himself seamlessly into a hole in the group that Jensen hadn't even known was there. He was just a little too big, laughed a little too loudly, dressed just a little bit too casually…and it was as if the team had found a missing piece. Between Jared and Felicia, the group meetings had more energy, the ideas flowing more quickly. Even the occasional teasing putdowns they used to indulge in had a new sparkle.

Felicia was blossoming under Charles's tutelage, and Jared…well, he was blossoming all on his own, whether or not Jensen was there. And Jensen had never before felt so useless at his job.

He knew that Charles was counting on him to...what? Be a leader of some kind? But there was no one who needed to be led. Jensen was happy to discuss Jared's research with him and give him whatever pointers he needed, but he had a feeling he was missing the greater part of why this task had been assigned to him.

On top of everything else, there was something about Jared that made Jensen unbelievably awkward. He had never had a problem being friendly with people, but he couldn't quite seem to relax around Jared the way he did around the other members of his team. It was as if some internal radar went on high alert whenever Jared entered the room, and Jensen couldn't figure out why. Whatever it was, the more calm and friendly he tried to be, the more tongue-tied and curt he became. He knew Jared had caught on to it, which just compounded the whole problem exponentially. He knew from the occasional puzzled glance he got that the rest of the team had noticed his problem as well.

Clearly, the only solution was to give up entirely and go back to focusing on his research. Jared would be better suited with one of the other scientists at Sector Two – even Katie, and Jensen had an easier time picturing a dancing unicorn than Katie trying to mentor someone else. Out of desperation, Jensen approached Charles with the idea of offering him a trade.

"Look," he said, perching on the edge of his seat and leaning across the table toward Charles. "It's just not working. Jared's a great guy, really, but…we don't seem to be a good match."

Charles frowned. "Are you saying that you don't think he's a good fit for this team?"

"No!" The word came out more emphatically than Jensen had intended. Awkwardness with his mentor aside, Jared clearly loved working at Sector Two. His suggested modifications to the grey wolf habitat had been incredibly incisive, and Jensen was looking forward to seeing them implemented. There was no need to punish Jared just because Jensen had clearly failed at his mentorship role.

"No," he repeated more quietly. "I think he's perfect for this team. I just don't see what you need me to…I mean, he fits here, you know?"

Charles sat back in his chair and steepled his hands in front of his face, regarding Jensen as if he was one of the more interesting research projects on their schedule. Jensen nearly squirmed under the scrutiny.

"And you're saying…you don't fit? Is that it?"

"No!" Jensen said in frustration. He'd never had so much trouble expressing himself, and he could feel the sweat breaking out at the corner of his hairline. This was why he preferred spending time in the field or in front of his computer. "I just don't think I have anything to offer him," was what he finally came up with. "I think working with Felicia would be easier on both of us."

Charles nodded absently and regarded the ceiling tiles as if they held the secrets of the universe.

"I remember when you first came here, Jensen," he finally said. "It was just me and Kim and old man Peters. I think I'd already been here, what, about six years? The sector had been struggling for a while – the grasslands habitat was failing, and the weather modifications hadn't been implemented yet. I thought we might have to shut the whole thing down, just give up and move to one of the other sectors. And then this new kid comes in, right out of school. Kind of quiet, keeps to himself, but smart as hell. I had a feeling he might be exactly the fresh set of eyes we needed, maybe see what we were all too close to see. And he was sharp, no question about it. He picked up on a few problems right away. But it was as if something was holding him back. It took me a while to see it, too."

He looked at Jensen knowingly. "You were too damn much of a perfectionist, so afraid of making a mistake that you overanalyzed everything. You wouldn't submit an idea unless you were at least 99.8% sure that it would work exactly as you predicted. You remember that?"

Jensen let out a snort and nodded. "You told me that part of being a team was using each other as sounding boards and not being afraid to sound like an idiot," he said. "That I had to let the big ideas out into the room, give them air to breathe."

"And once you made yourself do that," Charles continued, "it was like everything fell into place. Sure, not everything we tried was equally brilliant. But we found our solution."

"Oh God," Jensen groaned. "Is this going to be another one of your _the whole is greater than the sum of its parts_ speeches? Because I think it's been an entire, what, twelve hours since I heard that one?"

"I'm telling you, the disrespect," Charles complained to the ceiling tiles. "I don't know why I put up with it."

And then they were both laughing, and Jensen was starting to feel slightly better for the first time in weeks. But Charles reached over and cuffed him on the arm.

"There was a point there that you might have missed when you started mocking me," he said. "Sector Two needed you. Our team needed you. But you needed us, too."

Jensen sobered, remembering the insolvable Jared problem. "But Jared isn't anything like me," he said slowly. "He's kind of the opposite of a perfectionist."

Charles groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. "Why is it the smart ones that are always so dumb?" he asked.

"Hey!"

Charles waved him away, standing up and collecting his data pad. "You know what I mean. What I'm saying is, this mentorship is a two-way street, Jensen. You may think that Jared has nothing to learn from you, but that's not true. And besides…there's a lot you can learn from him in return. Anyway, you can't have Felicia. I've already got her trained to prepare the perfect specimen slides, and there's no way I'm giving that up."

He clapped Jensen on the shoulder and left the room, leaving Jensen to stare at the empty chair across from him.

 

********************

 

Things finally came to a head a few days later after their weekly meeting with Jill to discuss Jared's plans for the wolf habitat. Jensen stayed behind for a few minutes to confirm a couple of figures with Jill, and when he left the room he almost tripped over Jared, who was leaning against the opposite wall with his arms folded across his chest and his gaze fixed on the floor.

"Sorry," Jensen said shortly. "I mean, uh, were you waiting for me?"

Jared nodded without raising his head, uncharacteristically quiet, and Jensen felt even more awkward and wrong-footed than usual.

"Look, I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I know you don't want to work with me."

The flat statement caught Jensen off guard, and he stumbled for a way to respond. He wondered for a split second if Charles had ratted him out, but he dismissed the thought immediately. Charles was too good of a boss – too good of a _friend_ – to do that to Jensen.

"That's…what? That's not true."

It sounded bad in Jensen's head and even worse coming out of his mouth, and he winced.

Jared finally raised his head, and the anger that Jensen expected to see wasn't there. Instead he just looked tired and sad, and more than a little hurt.

"It's pretty obvious," he said plainly. "And if there's something I've done wrong, you need to tell me, because…"

"No!" Jensen interrupted. "You haven't done anything wrong! Why would you…?"

Except that he knew exactly why Jared would think that. The fact that this was all his own fault didn't make this whole situation any easier to fix, but he figured the truth was best in the long run.

"I owe you a huge apology." This time Jensen was the one keeping his eyes fixed on the floor, but it was better than trying to look Jared in the eyes. "You've done nothing wrong. You deserve better than me. Whatever I was supposed to do with this mentorship, I'm clearly horrible at it. I don't know, I'm probably the wrong guy for the job, because whatever I'm doing isn't working and I have no clue how to fix it, and that's just making things _worse_ , and…."

He finally looked up, and trailed off at the faint smile that crossed Jared's face.

"I think I have a solution to this problem," Jared said, then peeled himself off the wall and headed down the hall. Jensen followed curiously as he left the main laboratory suite and headed for the living area that housed their rooms as well as the recreational facilities. He finally caught up with Jared outside the small room tucked into one corner of the main hallway across from the canteen.

"The bar is the solution?" Jensen asked.

Jared smiled and shook his head. " _Beer_ is the solution," he clarified.

Jensen followed Jared inside. The place was almost entirely empty at this time of the day, and Jared had no problem claiming one of the tables in the back corner.

"Jared, my man!" the man coming out of the back room said. "How's it going?"

"Not bad," Jared replied, a big smile lighting up his face. Jensen had forgotten how much Jared's entire appearance altered when he was smiling a real smile, one that cut dimples in his cheeks and made him sit up straight with his shoulders back. It was as if he was expanding from the inside out, and Jensen felt a pang of guilt at how little cause he'd given Jared to smile over the past few weeks.

"Two of whatever you've got on tap," Jared said. "Thanks, Jack." The bartender nodded and left, and Jensen felt awkward all over again at the fact that he had been stationed at Sector Two for almost four years and hadn't been in the bar often enough to learn the owner's name. He looked up to see Jared studying him with a frown. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Jensen shook his head. "Nothing," he said honestly. "Just…impressed by how well you're fitting in here, you know? I don't know how you do it."

Jared shrugged, his movements loose and expansive. Jensen realized just how tightly Jared had been holding himself over the past several weeks.

"It's a pretty great place," he said. When Jensen eyed the sticky table with mild distaste, Jared laughed. "I mean, Sector Two," he clarified. "It's a good group of people you've got here. I was really hoping for this assignment."

"Still glad you got it?" Jensen asked, and Jared's answering smile and nod made warmth settle in the pit of his stomach.

"I think it'll turn out alright," Jared said softly, then grinned when two beers landed in front of them. "Thanks," he said, nodding up at Jack.

"Anything else?"

Jared eyed Jensen. "I don't know about you, but breakfast feels like it was a million years ago. What about a couple of burgers and fries?"

Jensen couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten anything besides coffee and stale energy bars, and at the mention of real food he was suddenly ravenous.

"Count me in."

The meat for the burgers may have been grown in a lab, but Jensen couldn't detect anything missing in the flavor. The red juices dripped off his fingers and onto the pile of thick-cut fries that steamed soft and salty at the edge of the plate. Jensen had to laugh at the way Jared's mouth stretched impossibly wide to fit the enormous bite he'd taken, and the closed-eyed moan he let out was almost pornographic in nature. Jensen shifted uncomfortably.

"I can leave you two alone if you'd like," Jensen offered, pointing at the burger that Jared was practically having sex with. Jared gave an open-mouthed grin, still full with his first bite, and Jensen wrinkled his nose in revulsion. The uncomfortable moment was gone, as quickly as it had arrived.

"I told you, beer makes everything better," Jared said, following his sentence with a swallow of his drink. "Well, beer and food."

"You're a man of simple pleasures," Jensen said, raising his own glass in salute. Jared tapped the rims together.

"Damn straight," he said fervently. "Now that we've gotten that out of the way…tell me something."

"About what?"

Jared fixed him with a look. "About you. And not your research – I know all about that. I want to know something about you." He looked slightly insecure and rushed to say, "I mean, I'm sure you've got a file on me, or something. It's only fair."

Jensen scratched the back of his neck and gave a nervous laugh. "If you want to know…I never read your file."

Jared seemed to perk up. "Really?"

Jensen shrugged. "I got this assignment just a couple of hours before you landed, and I didn't have time. And then you were here, and it seemed kinda pointless, you know? And sort of creepy – like reading over your shoulder or something."

Jared laughed, and he sounded relieved. "All this time I was picturing something embarrassing in there that you were judging me for. Like, I don't know, that prank we pulled on Professor Horton last semester." He shook his head at Jensen's raised eyebrow. "Not before another beer," he said firmly.

They sat and talked through school experiences they'd had in common before moving on to books, music and families. Jared made Jensen howl with laughter at his description of his youngest sister's trick for sneaking out of the house after curfew.

"How many sisters?" Jensen asked.

Jared held up five fingers. "Plus two brothers," he added. "Pretty normal size, I guess. What about you?"

Jensen shrugged. "Just me," he said quietly. Jared gaped at him, and Jensen couldn't blame him. After the exodus to Geda II, the remnant of humanity had been encouraged to reproduce itself as quickly and liberally as it liked. With financial and environmental constraints removed once terraforming was completed, it became commonplace for most families to average at least half a dozen children.

"Were your parents…you know, Separatists?" Jared asked delicately.

Jensen shook his head. As much as the majority of humanity loved the Gedans and expressed gratitude for their generosity and support, a small minority disapproved of humans continuing to be involved with "aliens" beyond the bare minimum needed for survival. They separated themselves into closed communities and refused to learn the Gedan language, keeping themselves to the human custom of, at most, a single child per family (as most governments had mandated once conditions on Earth had reached a catastrophic point).

"I think they always planned to have more, but my dad died a few months after I was born."

"I'm sorry," Jared murmured. Jensen shrugged.

"I don't remember him," he said honestly. "After that…well, I guess my mom wasn't really interested in anyone else. It was just the two of us when I was growing up." He nudged Jared in an attempt to wipe the sympathetic look off his face. "Seriously, it's not a big deal. Are your brothers both older than you?"

Jared accepted the hint and started in with a new story. By the time they had finished their third beers, Jensen was amazed to find that several hours had passed. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a good time with someone.

Jared cursed as he noticed the time.

"I need to go," he said. "There's something I need to pick up." He looked uncharacteristically shy for a minute. "You want to come with me?"

"Sure," Jensen said, unwilling to let their moment of companionship end. The latest model running on Jensen's computer wouldn't be finished until later that evening, and until then there wasn't much to do around the lab except catalog samples he'd already cataloged. Charles would probably be glad to get a break from him. The other man had been hinting darkly that other people apparently had things called a "personal life", and that Jensen's favorite chair was starting to show the permanent impression of his ass. Jensen had retaliated by making the next pot of coffee twice as strong as usual, but he had to admit that Charles maybe had a point.

Jared led him back into the lab session and through the warren of tech stations on the west side of the building.

"So what are you picking up?" he finally asked when Jared paused in front of a door and waited for the chime to announce him.

"My senior thesis project," Jared said mysteriously.

The door slid silently open, and Jensen followed Jared inside one of the larger rooms in the building. The main veterinary complex was subdivided into numerous smaller glass-enclosed structures of various sizes. Each was set up to provide a comfortable and seemingly-natural habitation for any members of Sector Two's animal life that were in need of medical attention. The variety of plant life alone made the large room sing with an absolute riot of colors and shapes, so different from the rest of the more sterile lab complex. One of the smaller cubicles held several tree branches with plenty of leaves for hiding, and Jensen knew from the latest reports that it contained a family of ground squirrels that were waiting on final tests before being introduced for the first time to the outdoors section of the enclosure. A female lynx and its newborn slept in one of the rear cubicles. The pregnancy had been difficult and had ended prematurely, and both had been brought in for extended care before a planned release back to the pack later in the week.

Jared waved to Maria, one of the vet techs who had worked at the complex for longer than Jensen – or probably anyone else, for that matter – had been there. She smiled warmly when she saw them.

"Today's the big day," she said, looking up at Jared from all five feet of her height. "Are you sure you're ready?"

"I can't believe you're not ready to get rid of him," Jared said with a grin. "I figured he would have torn the place apart by now."

"Nah, he's just a big softie," she said. "I've been wearing him out with plenty of exercise, but I know he's been missing you. Let me go get him ready."

She disappeared into the maze of enclosures, and Jensen eyed Jared curiously.

"What is your senior thesis project doing here?" he asked.

"Quarantine," was all Jared had time to say, and then Jensen was forced to take a step back when something that looked like a cross between a bear and a wolf came hurtling across the room toward them. It had a deep chest and a wide tongue, with grey shaggy hair over its entire body. Its long legs ate up the distance quickly, the long tail twitching madly back and forth as it headed straight for where Jared had taken a knee. It bowled him over instantly, and Jensen was about to call Maria for one of the tranquilizer guns when he realized that Jared was being licked all over his laughing face.

"Wow," Jensen said faintly as the creature turned its massive head toward him. A wet nose was shoved into his palm, and he found himself petting the gigantic head almost automatically. "This is…Jared, what is this?"

Jared rose from the floor and did his best to straighten his hair, but it was a hopeless effort. " _Canis lupus familiaris_ ," he said easily. "And one of my best friends. Say hi to Jensen, buddy."

"Wait, this is a dog?" Jensen said, eying the massive creature in disbelief. "Do dogs come this big? What kind of genetic modification did you do?"

Jared laughed. "Nothing, believe it or not. Well, aside from isolating the DNA from a set of samples that had been in storage for the last couple of decades. It took a while to find a specimen that hadn't been damaged by the extensive freezing process, but then it was just a matter of using a type of somatic cell nuclear transfer to create a clone. It's a breed that actually existed on old Earth. According to the records, they called it an Irish Wolfhound."

"Wow," Jensen said again, going down on one knee and allowing the dog to sniff at his face and favor him with a lick. He'd been around plenty of domesticated dogs – they had come to Geda II with the very first human settlers, after all – but selective breeding had tended to favor smaller animals. "So does this beast have a name?"

"Jensen, meet Chewbacca," Jared said, and the animal responded to its name with a deep woof.

"Wait, like from those old 2-D movies?" Jensen said. Jared's grin turned even brighter.

"You've seen _Star Wars_?"

"Only about a dozen times," Jensen admitted, and his insides warmed at Jared's smile. He couldn't believe how easy it felt now to be around him, all earlier awkwardness vanished as if it had never been there. He remembered Charles's earlier words about how maybe there was something they could learn from each other.

"Jared," he said softly, standing back up and watching as a lead was attached to the collar that encircled Chewbacca's neck. "This was great. Thank you. I'm sorry I haven't been the mentor you've deserved."

Jared quirked a smile at him. "Maybe I don’t really want a mentor," he said. "But I could really use a friend."

Jensen smiled in return. "That I can do."

 

********************

 

Three months after Jared and Felicia had arrived, the research group was running more smoothly than ever. Felicia – who was thriving under Charles's tutelage – joined Jensen on a project to introduce a new species of dragonfly to his lake. Jared occasionally spent a few days at a time with Kim out in the field monitoring the population of prairie dogs, leaving Chewbacca in Jensen's care whenever he did.

Once he reset his mental categories from "mentor" to "friend", Jensen's relationship with Jared blossomed. It was hard to imagine why it had been so difficult to begin with, but everyone noticed the change and the atmosphere was the better for it. Jensen found himself spending time with Jared outside of work, eating at the canteen or watching old movies or just walking through the outside enclosure and laughing about whatever had happened that day. Charles and Misha nodded approvingly whenever they saw the new pair of friends – which was more than a little condescending, if you asked Jensen – but he couldn’t bring himself to care too much.

Even Katie – not generally the member of their group most given to observations of social niceties – noticed the change.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Jared," she said, coming up behind Jensen one day and startling him badly as he added extra salt to one of the aquariums.

"And hello to you too," Jensen said. "I guess so. Why?"

She shrugged. "No particular reason. But it would put you in position to possibly have some information that I need. Is Jared seeing anyone?"

Jensen blinked at her. "Seeing anyone?"

She nodded impatiently. "Coupled. Paired off. In a romantic attachment."

"Oh." Jensen cleared his throat, feeling suddenly awkward and more than a little angry. He couldn't figure out the source of his feelings, so he settled for saying, "I don't think so, but you should probably ask him."

Katie narrowed her eyes at him, appraising him in a way that had Jensen checking the front of his shirt to see if he'd left any of his lunch there.

"What?" he finally snapped. Katie blinked at him and nodded, as if her observations had confirmed a prior thesis.

"You’ve provided all the information I require," she said, then disappeared as suddenly as she'd come.

"Weirdo," Jensen muttered under his breath as Jared stepped up to the bench, looking back over his shoulder.

"Was that Katie? What did she want?"

Jensen shook his head. "The hell if I know. You ready?" Jared handed him a scarf in reply.

Jill had asked the two of them to stop by her lab that afternoon. On the way over, they made plans to grab some food afterward and have dinner outside. The weather had been pleasantly mild for the last week, Geda II's long winter making way for a brief and brilliant spring.

Jill was waiting for them and greeted them with a smile, gesturing gracefully to another Gedan who stood behind her.

"My colleague, Max," she said, and the Gedan gave Jared and Jensen a short bow. "He works out of Sector Four and has come here to visit our facilities. He has a question for you."

"Mr. Ackles, Mr. Padalecki," the Gedan said politely. He stood just over two and a half meters tall, his skin a pale blue against the dark of his wide-set eyes. His speaking voice was pitched slightly higher than Jill's. There was nothing in his appearance to suggest "male" rather than "female", but that was hardly surprising. Not only had Gedans evolved with an almost complete lack of sexual dimorphism, their society recognized at least six distinct genders (partly defined by whether the individual had produced offspring or not), and it wasn't considered polite to ask about. When dealing with humans, most Gedans picked a human gender to identify with. It was mostly for pronoun purposes, but also because they seemed intrigued by the differences in how humans had evolved. Jensen had never been particularly good about predicting which way any individual Gedan would go, so he'd generally stopped guessing.

"Your work on the grasslands has been remarkable," Max said. "I plan on bringing your improvements to the attention of those in my own sector. Perhaps we might arrange an exchange at some point?"

Jensen murmured his thanks, and next to him Jared nodded.

"Excellent," Max said. "In the meantime, I have been studying aspects of the human metabolic system for one of my projects. According to your medical records, you both have some of the genetic markers I am interested in analyzing. Could I trouble you for a sample of your blood?" He paused and glanced at Jill, who nodded in seeming approval. "I apologize if my request is stated too bluntly. I have not spent much time working directly with humans."

Jensen exchanged an amused glance with Jared. The Gedans lacked some of the normal human privacy taboos, which occasionally led to some interesting interchanges. He'd long since gotten used to the fact that a Gedan scientist would sometimes forget things like, say, asking for permission to view medical files when caught up in proving a particular theory. Their fascination with all things human extended to their research, apparently.

"Sure," Jensen said easily, and Jared nodded his agreement. They held out their arms as Jill approached with the sterile sample kit, and after a few minutes Max gathered the blood samples into his case, bowed in thanks and departed.

"Thank you," Jill said as they prepared to leave.

"No problem," Jared said. "Just…next time make sure you ask _before_ you access the medical records, okay?"

"Oh!" Jill blushed a deep blue. "You are correct. I had forgotten the proper protocol." She looked truly distressed, shaking her four-fingered hands in a gesture of embarrassment. "I will make it a point to record a note for myself so this does not happen again in the future."

"Not a big deal," Jared said easily. "And hey, keep us up to date with Max's research, okay? I'm curious about what he's studying."

"I will be sure to do so," Jill said, the blush fading from her cheeks. "And thank you again."

The Gedan labs lay a short walk from the larger part of the complex that the human Conservators lived and worked in. Sector Two lay in the middle of a vast sprawl of grassland in the southeastern corner of the largest landmass. "Continent" wasn’t quite the right word – Geda II lacked true tectonic plates, and there were no oceans to divide one land from the other. The grasslands lay a few hundred kilometers from the base of a massive inactive shield volcano – Terra Mons – that took up most of the view to the west and hid the nearest human city on its other side. A series of squat buildings sat clustered together around the entrance to the massive bio-dome that housed the Earth species that were unsuited to life on the surface of Geda II. The dome was surrounded by rolling hills that were covered with grasses and, at this time of year, hundreds of wildflowers. The trees planted by the previous generation of Conservators had grown into copses of oak and maple, and the nearest one included the small lake that was the pride of Jensen's existence.

Jared collected Chewbacca from his quarters while Jensen grabbed sandwiches and fruit from the canteen – enough for four people, which _might_ be just enough given Jared's massive appetite. They met outside the main building and automatically began walking northwest toward the nearest grouping of trees. By the time they were sitting under the pale green shade of the new leaves, Jensen's stomach was growling. He handed the sandwiches over to Jared after taking one of his own and sat back against the bole of the young maple. A breeze blew overhead, rustling the leaves, and Jensen closed his eyes and listened to the music of the wind and the far cry of a hawk. He opened his eyes to see Jared watching him with a fond expression on his face.

"What?"

Jared blushed pink and glanced away, taking a huge bite of his sandwich. "Hey, did you ever ask Jill how she got her name?"

Jensen blinked at the change in topic, then laughed softly. "I did, once. She said she liked the sound of the letter 'J'." Because their given names were usually unpronounceable by humans, Gedans tended to pick a name in English (or one of the other human languages) when they chose their gender. Sometimes they picked a name that corresponded in meaning to their Gedan name, or because it embodied a characteristic they liked, or even just because they enjoyed how the syllabus fit together.

"There was this one Gedan professor I had who named himself 'Sofa'," Jensen mused. Jared's mouth dropped open. "No shit," Jensen said. "He didn't care what it meant. He said he considered it the most beautiful word in the English language."

Jared let out a loud cackle of delight, falling onto his back and almost landing on Chewie, who lay snoozing next to him.

"Man, that's even better than the one exchange student we had a few years back," Jared said. "She'd just finished up a set of courses on human history and decided to honor our culture by naming herself Jesus Mohammed Krishna. We talked her out of that one."

Jensen chuckled and laid back himself, folding his arms behind his head and staring up through the new leaves at the sky above. Geda itself was fixed in the sky above them, the gas giant visible in the daylight as a vast ghostly sphere that swelled above the horizon. Jensen could just make out the faintest edge of its ring system, pale as gossamer thread. It was hard to imagine what it must have been like to live on a planet – an actual planet, not a moon – with a sky as empty and blue as the surface of a still lake, without Geda to anchor it and hold everything in place. How did humans survive with that amount of openness above them? The thought made Jensen shudder with vertigo even as he felt a wild desire to see it for himself.

"What are you thinking about?" Jared's voice was soft, as if hesitant to break the spell that had fallen over them both.

"Earth," Jensen said honestly, then gave a self-deprecating laugh. "Sorry, I know it's pathetic. I just wonder sometimes, what it was like. There was an old book I used to love when I was little, and I asked my mom to read it to me over and over. There were two brothers and two sisters who found a door to another world hidden inside a wardrobe."

"What's a wardrobe?" Jared asked.

Jensen shrugged. "Like a closet, I think. It's where they stored coats. But the door was magic – sometimes it was there and sometimes it wasn't, but never when you were expecting it. When I was younger I used to dream about finding a magic door that would let me see visit Earth."

"That reminds me…did I ever mention why I became a Conservator?" Jared glanced at Jensen out of the corner of his eye, and Jensen shook his head.

"Tell me?"

Jared nodded and studied the sky overhead. "A Conservator came to talk at our school once when I was…I don't know, seven or eight?" he said. "It sounded like the most amazing thing, you know? That we could change this world and make it better, make it something we could actually live in, not just survive on. That we could get it right this time."

"Yeah," Jensen said softly. It was easy to picture a younger Jared, all scrawny limbs and floppy hair and a growing obsession with fixing the mistakes of the past.

"And it made me think about Earth," Jared continued. "Like, if we could fix this moon so we could live on it, why couldn't we go back and fix the Earth?" He barked out a short laugh. "I seriously thought I was the first person to come up with that idea."

Jensen laughed. "I did the same thing," he admitted. "And then years later, I was reading about the early days of terraforming Geda II. Someone actually came up with a plan to go back and re-terraform the Earth if we were successful here."

"Project Revenio?" Jared asked, voice high and excited. "I didn't know anyone else knew about it!"

Jensen turned his head to see a wide grin on Jared's face, and it made warmth settle in Jensen's chest. He could almost see their shared excitement as a visible tendril that stretched between them, pulsing with life.

"I don't think many other people have," he said. "From what I read, it looks like the project was abandoned after a year or two. It turned out not many people were interested in going back once they settled here."

Jared reached out just a bit, brushing idly at the sparse grass that grew under the shade of the tree.

"I think I'd be interested," he said in a low tone, not quite meeting Jensen's eyes. There was something there in his voice, something deeper that Jensen couldn't quite get a handle on. But the sense of warmth and connection that had blossomed over the past few hours was still there as well, solid and comforting.

They both fell silent then, and the wind blew softly through the leaves above them. Chewie snorted in his sleep, whacking his tail rhythmically against Jared's leg, and Jensen let his eyes fall closed again. He started when he felt the gentle brush of fingers against the top of his head.

"Jared," he murmured, eyes still closed, and he wasn't sure if it was a warning or a plea. Jared shushed him wordlessly, just a soft sigh not much louder than the wind, and then the fingers were carding through Jensen's short hair. Jensen leaned into the touch instinctively, every nerve ending tingling as if suddenly woken up from a long sleep. He didn't let himself think about how long it had been since he'd allowed himself to be touched like this. He had his needs the same as any other guy, and he'd had no problem finding a friendly visiting scientist or lab tech to spend some time with when the occasion called for it. But he had never before been touched so gently, so tenderly, as if he was something precious, something worth protecting.

Jensen opened his eyes to see Jared lying next to him on his side, propped up on one elbow. The breeze blew his hair into his face, and without thinking about it Jensen reached out and tucked it behind Jared's ear. His fingers lingered on the curve of Jared's chin, the cut of his cheekbone, the delicacy of his wide mouth. There was a wrinkle between Jared's eyes, something that spoke of nervousness and hesitation, and Jensen smoothed it away with the pad of his thumb. Jared looked so soft and open, almost unbearably young, and Jensen knew he needed to put a stop to this before things got further out of hand. _I can't_ , he thought.

"Why not?" Jared asked patiently. Jensen didn’t even realize he'd spoken aloud. He reminded himself that he was supposed to be the one who was older and wiser, the mentor who instructed his student in the ways of the world, but at that moment he felt like a nervous twelve year old.

"I think Katie likes you," he blurted out in desperation instead of saying what he really wanted to say, which was _yes please never stop touching me_. Jared's hand paused for a second, but he didn't withdraw.

"Katie?" he said. "Really? I don't think so."

Jensen nodded, careful not to dislodge Jared's hand from his hair. "She was asking about you today, whether you were seeing anyone."

Jared chuckled. "I really don't think she's interested. Besides, I'd be afraid to say no to her. She's tiny, but she looks like she can do some damage." He cocked his head and studied Jensen, who suddenly felt like he was under a microscope. "It bothers you, doesn't it? The idea of me being with her." He sounded almost gleeful, and Jensen couldn't figure out why.

"It's just…the group dynamics. It's never a good idea." Jensen's voice was petulant to his own ears, the sudden rush of irritation confusing. Why should it bother him who Katie set her sights on? If it made Jared happy, that was all that mattered.

And then he got caught on that thought, _make Jared happy_ , and it was as if a new world opened up in front of him. Because he realized that was all that mattered to him and all that had mattered to him for a few months now. Ever since the air had been cleared between them, he'd found himself more comfortable in Jared's presence than without him, missing him on his occasional research absences with a distant ache as one would miss an absent limb. That had never happened to Jensen before, not with anyone, and he realized how much Jared had entwined himself with Jensen's life to the point where _make Jensen happy_ became inseparable from _make Jared happy_. It was frightening in its newness. Jensen felt as if he was standing on the edge of a vast precipice, empty space opening up before him and the wind at his back. It was the vertigo of a clear sky above him, endless possibilities that coalesced in the form of a single person.

He couldn't believe what an idiot he had been, because it should have been obvious right from the start. Hell, it probably _had_ been obvious to everyone. Even to Katie. _Especially_ to Katie.

"I'm an idiot," he said plainly to Jared, because there was nothing quite like being open with whatever revelations his brain decided to visit upon him. Charles had taught him that.

Jared's face brightened, his mouth stretching in a wide grin that brought out the dimples that Jensen was obsessed with seeing.

"You are," he agreed. "But you're worth it."

He lowered his face slowly, gently, as if Jensen was one of the wild animals that Jared tended to, needing to be gentled for the touch of human hands. Jensen was shaking, which was stupid because it wasn't like he hadn't been kissed before. But he hadn't been kissed by Jared, and that made all the difference in the world.

Jared closed the gap between them, and for a moment he just brushed his nose gently alongside Jensen's. Jensen closed his eyes and focused on the sensation of Jared's breath against his lips, Jared's hand cradling the side of his face. He finally tilted his chin up and closed the gap, letting his lips sweep across Jared's.

It started off softly, just the brush of lips past each other, and then Jared let out a sound like a whimper that went straight to the pit of Jensen's stomach. The kiss deepened, Jensen's mouth falling open to catch Jared's lower lip between his and suck gently. Jared's long hair felt perfect under his hands, and Jensen twined his fingers in the dark strands to direct Jared's mouth where he wanted it to go.

The kiss grew in hunger and intensity, and Jared edged closer until most of his weight rested on Jensen. Jensen liked that – it helped ease the sense of vertigo, having something solid to anchor him to the ground – and he let his leg wind itself around Jared's ankle as Jared slowly rocked against him. Jensen knew he was hard as well, but it was almost of secondary concern to the feeling of Jared's weight against him.

The snuffle of a wet nose and the unpleasant interruption of a jolt of doggy breath broke them apart. Jared let out a breathless laugh as Chewie shoved his face between them and sniffed, as if upset at being left out of whatever was going on between his humans.

"Buddy, I love you, but you are the worst," Jared groaned.

"Maybe save this for later?" Jensen suggested, ruffling Chewie's fur and trying to will his erection away. He sat up carefully as Jared rolled off to the side and scrubbed at his eyes.

"Later," Jared agreed, getting up and helping Jensen collect their lunch debris. They packed quickly, making sure none of the trash blew away, and Jared whistled Chewie to his side for the walk back.

"Jensen?" he asked as they started back, and his voice was uncharacteristically nervous, as if the man who had kissed Jensen with such gentle dominance had gone into hiding for the time being. "This isn't…I mean…I know you're worried about us working together and everything. But this isn't just physical for me."

There was a plea in those words, an unspoken _please stop now if you're not serious because I'm not sure if I can_. And as much as he was still reeling from the force of his recent observations about his own feelings, Jensen felt remarkably surefooted about this. This was something he could give to Jared in return.

He pulled Jared's head down and offered him another soft kiss, first to his lips and then to his forehead.

"It isn't for me either," he said, making sure Jared saw his eyes as he said it. _Whatever this is, we're in it together_.

Jared caught hold of his hand as they walked back together, and Jensen squeezed and didn't let go.

 

********************

 

The change in their relationship didn't seem to surprise anyone at the lab. Jensen worried vaguely that Charles might have something to say about it not being proper for members of the same team who already worked in such close contact to pursue a more personal relationship, but he didn't. Instead, Jensen got the sense that everyone was silently cheering them on, which was sort of sweet but also a bit creepily overinvested. "Finally," Katie muttered under her breath when she caught them standing closer together than usual. When Kim cornered Jensen to tell him bluntly that he'd better not fuck things up, he answered back with a snarky "Yes, mom," that earned him a slap to the back of the head.

If things were progressing more slowly between him and Jared on a physical front, it was only because their work had suddenly become an almost perfect storm of craziness, to the extent that everyone in the lab was operating with not enough sleep and way too much caffeine. A failure of one of the bio-dome's main climate-control units had the entire team scrambling to move various species around until repairs were completed, and it left everyone snappish and exhausted. Jensen found himself retreating into single-minded problem-solving mode, but he did his best to reassure Jared with his body language that it wasn't meant personally.

Jared, bless him, seemed to understand perfectly. He worked side by side with Jensen just as hard, remembering to bring him a fresh cup of coffee even as Jensen remembered to keep Jared stocked with snacks. In the evenings, they usually ended up on the couch in one of their living quarters, falling asleep within minutes of sitting down.

Just as the final repairs were being completed and work was finally approaching its base level of normality, Jill asked them to stop by her office again. Max had apparently made some breakthroughs with his research into their metabolic systems and wanted their assistance.

"When this is over, I'm going to sleep for a week," Jensen complained, collecting his jacket and scarf.

"I'm going to sleep for two," Jared shot back. "And probably eat the entire world, and then sleep a little more. God, I can't even remember the last time I took Chewie for a really long walk. He probably hates my face."

"Anything else you want to do, in between sleeping and eating and walking that beast you call a dog?" Jensen asked casually.

Jared looked at him sideways with an expression both heavy and hungry. "I can't think of a couple of things," he murmured. And even though they'd agreed to keep physical expressions of closeness out of the office, Jensen couldn't resist reaching up to drop a quick kiss on Jared's lips.

"Good," was all he said, but he could feel Jared's eyes on his ass all the way over to the building that housed the Gedans' labs.

It was a freezing cold inside as usual, and Jensen shivered when Jill answered the door. "You're here!" she said. "Thank you both for coming. I know how busy you've been."

Max was waiting inside, along with two other Gedans that Jensen had never met before, and he gave his usual polite bow. "I am so pleased with the progress we have been making," he said with no further prologue. "Would you consider assisting us further with the continuation of our research?"

Jensen exchanged a glance with Jared, who shrugged.

"Sure, I guess," he answered for both of them. "But what will it involve? We've both been pretty busy cleaning up the mess in our bio-dome, and there's still a lot of work to do. Maybe in a couple of weeks we'll have some time free."

"Thank you for your permission." Max reached into the open case on the table in front of him and extracted two hypodermic needles similar to the ones used when Jensen and Jared had donated their blood samples. Rather than being empty, however, these already contained a viscous blue fluid. The hair on the back of Jensen's neck stood up, and he took an automatic step back, his fingers tightening around Jared's wrist.

He didn’t notice the two Gedans who had moved to stand behind them. Jensen's arms were caught in an iron-tight grip, his hand wrenched away from Jared's. He gasped in surprise and struggled wildly to break free, watching in panic as Jared attempted to break loose from a similar grip.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Jill cried, stepping forward, but it was too late. While the Gedan behind him held Jensen's right arm outstretched, Max approached with one of the syringes.

"Get the hell away from him!" Jared bellowed, but Max quickly and efficiently emptied the needle into Jensen's vein. Jill stepped forward, hands shaking with distress, but she could not prevent Max from injecting Jared with the second needle.

Jensen's arm burned at the injection site, the warmth of his racing blood a contrast to the chill of the room. As soon as he was released he grabbed Jared in his arms just in time for his own knees to buckle. Jared held him as they both collapsed to the ground. The blood raced through Jensen's veins, faster and faster, his heart beating uncontrollably fast until it felt like it was going to burst from his chest. He exchanged a pained, desperate glance with Jared and pulled the other man more tightly to him.

"Are you okay?" he croaked.

Jared's face was pale, his forehead gleaming with sweat. His breath was shallow and panicked, and he tightened his hand around Jensen's until Jensen thought that his fingers might break.

"No," he said, and then his eyes rolled up in his head and he passed out.

Jensen shook with anger, and he reacted with a savage snarl to the Gedan who tried to reach down and straighten Jared's body into a more comfortable position. "What did you do?" he heard Jill ask, and through the roaring in his ears he managed to make out Max's reply.

"I don't understand. You told me to ask, and they gave their permission."

Jensen held tightly to Jared even as his heart rate continued to climb and his blood boiled within him. He panted, feeling as though he had run a marathon, but the shallow breaths didn't seem able to draw enough oxygen into his lungs. He kept his eyes fixed on Jared and wouldn't let go, even as his arms lost all feeling and his own eyes rolled back in his head.

 

********************

 

When Jensen awoke, he was lying in a comfortable bed.

He kept his eyes closed as he took stock of his body, trying to figure out what had happened to him and why it felt like half of his brain had been removed without the use of anesthesia. He remembered being in Jill's office, the chill of the air conditioner against his skin, the rush of blood through his veins. He could feel his heart rate increase at the memory of the way his blood pressure had spiked. And then Jared had collapsed in his arms, and Jensen had been helpless to do anything.

_Jared._

Jensen sat upright with a gasp, wincing at the pounding in his head. He took a frantic look around the room, unable to take in any details aside from the fact that Jared lay in a similar bed next to his own, sound asleep.

Jensen let his eyes slide shut in relief. Wincing, he edged his way over to the edge of his bed and shakily reached across the small divide for Jared's wrist. His fingers felt for the pulse, and he gave a grateful exhale upon finding it strong and regular.

Jared grunted and twitched, a wrinkle of discomfort appearing between his eyes. Jensen called his name and waited impatiently for Jared to open his eyes. He finally did, the muddled blue-green of the irises looking more cloudy and unfocused than usual.

"Jen?" he rasped. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

Jensen could have cried in relief. He carefully slid to his feet and took a step across the bare floor to Jared's bed, making note of the medical observation patches that covered parts of his bare skin. Jared slid over to make room for him as Jensen sat himself on the edge of the bed.

"What do you remember" he asked Jared, reaching over to scratch at the scruff that covered Jared's chin. They must have been lying there for a few days if the growth of facial hair was anything to go by.

Jared shook his head, his eyes taking on a faraway look, and then they widened suddenly. "Max. He injected us with something." He clutched Jensen's wrist, struggling to rise even as Jensen tried to push him back down. "Holy shit, he injected us with something," he repeated, his voice rising in panic. "What did he do?"

The hiss of a pneumatic seal caused them both to turn and watch as a doorway in the wall slid open, the lights above it blinking green. A figure stepped through dressed in full biohazard suit, an oxygen line trailing through the doorway behind him. It was Charles, and if the circles under his eyes were anything to go by, he hadn't spent the last few days in much better condition than Jensen and Jared had.

"I'm damn happy to see the two of you are finally up," he said fervently.

Charles leaned against the empty bed and did his best to answer their questions. They had been in the hospital suite for the past two and a half days, with round the clock monitoring. Yes, they were temporarily in quarantine – not that anyone expected to find a contagion, but it was better safe than sorry. Yes, someone was analyzing their blood every six hours. No, he didn't know what Max had injected them with.

"It's the damnedest thing," Charles said, staring at the tile floor. "We've been testing your blood, and we're seeing some strange mutations to part of the genetic code. An unfamiliar protein popped up yesterday in your blood, Jared – and in yours this morning, Jensen." He looked up at both of them, and the hesitation put Jensen on high alert.

"What is it?" he insisted.

Charles shook his head, as if not quite prepared to believe the truth of his own words. "One of the amino acids shared genetic property with Gedan biology."

Jensen blinked at him, and Jared pushed himself carefully to a seated position.

"That's impossible," he said firmly. "Our biologies are completely inconsistent. There's no way a Gedan amino acid would be able to survive inside the human body, must less replicate itself. It would just be a junk piece of code, ending in cell death. Are you sure?"

Charles threw his hands up. "I know it sounds impossible. We have three different teams analyzing the data separately. Kim and Katie have been doing nothing but genetic sequencing for the past forty-eight hours. Jill has been bending over backward to offer up any Gedan assistance she can…although I didn't want to take her up on it until I heard about what the hell happened from the two of you in your own words. They're keeping Max and his buddies confined to one of the labs for the time being, but they're insisting that they had your permission to do this. Help me out here, guys."

Assisted by Jared, Jensen did his best to give a clear account of everything that had happened in Jill's lab.

"I don't know, maybe he genuinely thought we were giving permission," Jensen finished heavily. "We all know how bad they are with stuff like that."

"Honestly, I don't think he really cared what our answer was," Jared said darkly.

Charles sighed, and Jensen got the impression that he would be rubbing his eyes if it wasn't for the biohazard helmet he was wearing.

"I'm going to get Jill to help us with this," he said finally. "This is beyond anything that I've ever seen. Hell, even Kim is stumped, and she's seen everything. But I'm going to insist that Max remains confined to quarters and stays the hell away from the two of you until we know more about what we're dealing with."

The next two days passed so slowly that Jensen started to wonder whether time had actually started flowing backward. Charles made sure that he and Jared were supplied with copies of their latest blood workups – along with copies of the research Max had been doing, not that Jensen could make much of it.

"Their protocols are completely different from ours," Jared complained on the second day, when they finally felt well enough to shower and shave and leave their beds. "I can't figure out what in the hell he was doing. I mean, take a look at this." He handed a data pad to Jensen, pointing at the graph on it. "What in the fuck is this?"

Jensen took one look and threw it on top of the pile of other data pads that littered the table. "I can't even look at it anymore," he complained. "My brain is fried." He pulled at the medical scrubs he wore, trying to make them a little more comfortable. "And I want my own clothes, and my own bed. And about three gallons of coffee."

Jared's lips twisted as if he was trying to hold back a smile. "I forgot you've been going through caffeine withdrawal," he said. "No wonder you've been such a cranky ass." He glanced up at the camera that hung innocuously from the corner of the room. "I wish I could do something to help take your mind off things," he murmured.

"You have an exhibition fetish I should know about?" Jensen asked, leaning toward Jared with a smile. Just before their lips met, the video on one of the data pads sprang to life.

"Hey!" Felicia said. "No one wants to see that. There are innocent eyes here."

"You?" Jared said. "Innocent? Since when?"

"Not me, you moron". The camera view widened to show Felicia seated at one of the lab benches, Chewbacca curled at her feet.

"Hey there, boy," Jared crooned, and Chewie lifted his head and barked at the sound of his human's voice.

"We're all taking good care of him," Felicia assured them. "Besides, it's time for your afternoon update. There's good news and bad news."

Jensen rolled his eyes. "The good news had better be pretty damn good, now that you've interrupted us," he growled.

Felicia shrugged. "Judge for yourself. Bad news…no change in your blood work. But good news…no change in your blood work. We've tested this about eighteen million ways, and there's no sign that these genetic modification introduced into your DNA are contagious. So that means they're taking you both off quarantine tomorrow as long as nothing else changes."

"Oh, thank fuck," Jensen said fervently as Jared let out a whoop of approval.

"They still want you to hang around the medical wing for a few more days, just in case," Felicia said. "But pretty soon you'll be wearing real clothes and eating real food and…doing whatever it is you want to do."

She gave a saucy wink, and the video feed went dead.

 

********************

 

Jill was the first person to visit their room the next day once quarantine was lifted, along with Charles. She apologized profusely and assured them both that representatives from Geda III were coming to visit Sector Two to personally inspect what had happened. Charles clapped Jensen on the shoulder and told him he looked like shit, then was surprised when Jared caught him up in a bear hug.

"Thanks for everything you've done," Jensen said. "You and the rest of the group. We owe you."

Charles gave a wheezing laugh. "Maybe I'll pass on the hugs in a virtual format. I think I cracked a rib."

The day passed more quickly once they were able to receive actual visitors. Felicia stopped by with Chewie, who proceeded to leave dog hair over the entire room (to the delight of Jared and the disgust of the nurses). Kim and Katie brought pizza and Jensen's personal coffeemaker and installed it in the corner of the room. Even Misha showed up with his wife, toting a pile of comfortable jeans and t-shirts for Jared and Jensen. Jensen eyed the clothes suspiciously.

"How did you overcome the bio-lock on my door?" he asked.

Misha blinked innocently. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," he said, then left with a cryptic wink.

A day of visitors after several days of forced inactivity was enough to tire Jensen out, and by the time evening rolled around he and Jared had settled themselves comfortably on one of the beds to watch one of Jensen's collection of old Earth movies.

"What are you in the mood for?" Jensen asked. "Starships? Explosions? Dwarves? All of the above?"

Jared laughed tiredly. "Do we even _have_ an all of the above?" He winced and stretched, massaging the base of his own neck. Jensen frowned and took over, pushing Jared's hands aside to push his thumbs into the tight muscles at the top of Jared's spine.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, the worry that had been simmering in him for the past three days rising to the surface. Jared shrugged and hung his head, sighing in relief.

"Started feeling a little weird a couple of hours ago," he admitted. "It's like my skin is too tight or something. I don’t know. I'm sure I'll feel better once we can get out of here."

"Are you sure?" Jensen pressed. "You want me to call one of the nurses?"

"Hell no," Jared said fervently. "I've been poked and prodded enough for one lifetime. If you can just…."

His voice trailed off, and Jensen frowned in concern.

"Jared?" he said cautiously, turning Jared around to face him.

Jared's jaw was locked, sweat beading on his upper lip. His eyes were almost completely dilated. His muscles tightened under Jensen's hands with a painful looking jolt, and he looked at Jensen with a look of sheer terror that sent an icy sheet of fear up Jensen's spine.

"Shit," he cursed, helping Jared to lie back on the bed as gently as he could before jamming his thumb on the call button. "I need some help in here!" he called for good measure, voice cracked and high in panic.

Jared started to pant through his clenched teeth, clearly in pain, a low whine making its way up his chest. Jensen wiped the sweat from his brow, hand fluttering uselessly, wanting to hold and comfort Jared but unwilling to make the pain any worse. Two nurses skidded around the corner, their hands going to the emergency kits they wore at their belts.

"No!" Jared ground out as the approached, his eyes turning wild and wary. "Stay back!"

The nurses paused in place for a moment, looking to Jensen for instruction. "Hey," Jensen said in the calmest voice he could manage. "Jared, hey. Listen to me. They're here to help you, okay?" Jensen grabbed the clenched fist that was gripping tightly to the front of his t-shirt. "Jared, can you hear me?"

"Jen," Jared rasped. "I can't…don't let them…."

He let out a hoarse cry, throwing his head back. Jensen could see every tendon on his neck stand out in sharp relief, and he almost sobbed from helpless frustration. He was about the signal the nurses to come closer, Jared's insistence otherwise be damned, when Jared arched his back and wailed, rolling from the bed onto the tile floor with a hard thump.

Jensen followed him down at once, cursing his slow reflexes and almost froze in shock.

Something was happening to Jared's body. As Jensen watched in frozen horror, Jared's rib cage popped and expanded, the skin stretching to cover the new shape. His arms lengthened and his legs shortened, toes and fingers shortening and becoming broader. His face – that face that Jensen loved so much, and why in the hell hadn't he told Jared that? – grew flatter and narrower, nose and jaw jutting forward and mouth widening to make room for the new set of canines that sprouted from the bone. His ears widened and curved toward the top of the skull. As Jensen watched, Jared's long hair disappeared, replaced with a golden fur that covered in his entire body.

The entire process couldn't have lasted more than a dozen seconds. Before he could do more than draw in a single shocked breath, Jensen was sitting on the floor of the hospital wing next to a large cougar that was covered by the tattered remains of Jared's clothes.

The animal lay on the ground panting shallowly – Jensen didn't know whether it was conscious or not. He looked dumbly up at the nurses who stared back at him, shaking their heads in confusion. The jaw of the younger one – Lupe, Jensen vaguely remembered – was twitching, as if she was about to burst into tears. Jensen knew how she felt. His brain felt as if it was operating on half its normal capacity, as if was spending all of its energy on ruthlessly suppressing the gibbering horror that threatened to send him screaming from the room.

The sound of running footfalls preceded Charles's entrance into the room. He stopped dead with a muttered curse, eyes widening at the sight of the gigantic cougar splayed on the floor at the foot of the hospital bed. Jensen met his eyes helplessly and wordlessly shrugged his shoulders.

The cougar – mountain lion? puma? Jensen wasn't sure – blinked its eyes open with a low growl, stretching its long limbs. Jensen swallowed uncomfortably at the sharp claws that curved from the padded paws. The animal blinked again and met his eyes, and Jensen almost gasped at shock at the fierce intelligence that shone there. Because he _knew_ those green-blue eyes as well as he knew his own reflection.

"Jared?" he whispered.

The cougar growled in response and sat up on its hind legs carefully. And then it apparently caught sight of its own front paws and looked up at Jensen in what could only be shock. It rose to its feet with a confused growl, falling over on its side when it tried to stand on its hind legs. Lupe whimpered, and the cougar lifted its head and growled threateningly at her.

"Jared," Jensen said sharply, drawing the cougar's attention to himself. He crawled across the floor, approaching it slowly, and held his breath as the animal fixed an unblinking set of eyes on him. The cougar rose unsteadily to its feet, whimpering softly under its breath, and Jensen paused before moving forward cautiously again.

"Jensen," Charles said quietly, and there was a clear warning in his voice.

"It's okay," Jensen said soothingly, never once looking away from the cougar's eyes. "It's alright, isn't it, big guy? It's just me. You know I'm not going to hurt you."

The cougar took a clumsy step toward him, and Jensen held his breath as the wide golden face closed the gap. And then the cougar was butting its nose against the side of his neck, licking Jensen's face and letting out a soft, purring growl. Jensen buried trembling fingers in the soft fur at the base of the cougar's neck, petting the short nap of fur and scratching behind the rounded ears.

"See?" he said, looking up at Charles with a strangled laugh. "We're okay. We're okay."

 

********************

 

Once the shock of the transformation wore off, the cougar – Jared – submitted itself to several medical tests as long as Jensen remained nearby. Jensen offered to draw the blood himself, and Jared lay his heavy head trustingly across Jensen's lap while Jensen deftly handled the needle.

Kim and Charles sat huddled on the other side of the room, watching the latest test results scroll across their pads and passing a flask back and forth under the table.

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen the video," Charles said for the millionth time. "I still don't believe it." He scrubbed his face with his hands and took a swig from the flask. After a pause, he politely handed it to Jill, who was staring at Jared with a look of utter fascination. She accepted the flask wordlessly and emptied it in one long swallow before handing it back.

"We're done for now," Jensen said to all and sundry. Kim looked as if she was ready to object, but Jensen placed his hand protectively over the back of Jared's neck and glared at her, daring anyone to disagree. "I've let you poke him and measure him for the last three hours. We're all tired, and he'll still be here in the morning."

Kim exchanged a glance with Charles and nodded, everyone rising to leave just as the cougar's eyes closed in exhaustion. A shiver ran through Jared's body, and Jensen looked down to see the transformation reverse itself in even less time than the original change had taken. Fur disappeared, face and jaw shortened, fingers and toes lengthened, tail vanished, and Jared lay in his original human form, head still cradled on Jensen's lap. Jensen grabbed a sheet and covered up Jared's nudity, sweeping his fingers through Jared's hair as a wave of relief washed over him. Jensen hadn't known if he would ever see Jared in human form again, and the sight of that beloved face was enough to make him close his eyes in gratitude.

"Tomorrow," he said softly, looking up to see Charles watching him closely. The other man nodded and shepherded everyone out of the room, shutting off the main lights and leaving the room in semi-darkness.

Jensen sighed and sat back against the wall, never once stopping carding his fingers through Jared's hair in case the other man awoke. His eyes burned with exhaustion, but he couldn't stop his mind from racing. What in the hell was going on? This type of transformation defied any laws of biology that Jensen had ever learned. Would it happen again? Would Jared still be Jared when he woke up?

Would it happen to Jensen as well?

Jensen must have been more tired than he thought. He had intended to lay his head against the wall and close his eyes just for a moment, but when he opened them again there was an almighty crick in his neck and the clock read three hours later. Dawn was fast approaching. Jensen checked on Jared, glad to see that he slept on, and groaned as he massaged the tightness at the base of his skull. He bones ached from sitting slumped at the base of the wall for hours, and skin felt itchy, as if it was too tight.

Jensen froze as the ache in his bones increased, thumping along with the beat of his heart. He remembered what Jared had said before his transformation, and a wave of adrenaline washed through him. He could feel sweat break out on the top of his lip, and when he raised his hands in front of his face, they were shaking.

As carefully as he could, Jensen lowered Jared's head to the ground, pillowing him on a balled-up blanket. He stood on his feet shakily and began to pace the room, panting heavily as the pain increased. He knew intellectually that he needed to call someone, that he needed to catalog what was happening to him, but a more primal part of his brain hissed at the suggestion.

And then, more than anything, he felt the instinctive need to go _up_ and _out_. Stumbling, Jensen made his way across the room and pressed his thumb to the door switch. Ed at the night desk looked up curiously.

"Something you need, Jensen?"

Jensen ignored him and made his way to the stairs that led to the roof of the medical wing. He paid no attention to his name being called behind him, to the sound of footsteps following him up the stairs. He burst through the top of the stairway onto the rooftop of the building.

It was clear and cold outside, and Geda hung heavy and swollen in the dawn sky. The sun was just beginning to break over the horizon, and the cool wind drew goosebumps on Jensen's exposed flesh. The ache in his bones began to be unbearable, and he instinctively tore off his shirt and jeans, unable to bear the weight of the clothing against his skin. The air left his lungs in short, painful pants, and the skin between his shoulder blades felt as if it was about to burst into flames. Dimly he heard someone calling his name, saw a small clot of people huddled together near the open stairwell, but the agony that hollowed his bones almost stole his voice with its intensity. He fell to his knees with a gasp, keening aloud through clenched teeth.

Even knowing something of what to expect from what Jared had gone through, the transformation was shockingly surreal. It seemed to last for an hour, although he had a feeling that no more time had passed than had for Jared's. He could sense his legs shrinking, his toes turning and sharpening into talons. His fingers elongated, a web of skin growing between them. Feathers sprouted from his chest and arms, a tail grew at the base of his spine, and then Jensen lay panting in a huddle on the rooftop of the building in a sudden silence.

It was strange. He still knew who he was, but it was as if a secondary mind – one less rational and more instinctive – rode shotgun inside his brain. That instinctive mind let him perch upright and straighten his wings – _wings_ – with a piercing cry.

The wind through his feathers was intoxicating, and he longed to spread his wings and take flight into the early morning sky. He heard his name being called, but as if from a very long distance, and he turned and hissed at the human he sensed approaching him.

Jared stood on the rooftop in front of him, shivering in the cool air with a sheet wrapped around his bare waist. He held out his hand to Jensen, speaking soothingly and calmly, saying little more than his name over and over.

Jensen cocked his head as Jared took a knee on the rough asphalt of the rooftop, still holding out his hand. Jensen took a single awkward hop forward and then another one, wings trailing gracelessly behind him.

"What do you think?" another voice asked from the background. "Golden eagle? Much too large, though."

Jensen ignored the other voice speaking meaningless words, focusing instead on the croon of Jared's voice and the long fingers that reached down to straighten his feathers. It tickled in a good way, and Jensen pushed his head under Jared's hand and let Jared rub between his wings.

"That's right," Jared said soothingly. "Just like that, Jen. God, you're amazing. You're so amazing. Not gonna fly away on me, are you?"

The human part of Jensen's brain responded instinctively to the affection in Jared's voice, pushing the animal to the rear. With a shiver, he felt his wings shrink and feathers retract, pebbled asphalt digging painfully into his soft human knees. Jared caught him in his arms and wrapped the sheet around him so they were both covered. Jensen looped his arms around Jared's shoulder wordlessly and shut his eyes, removed from any kind of equilibrium and completely unable to speak.

 

********************

 

By the time a week had passed since their initial transformations, both men were heartily sick of being treated as a science experiment. After much practice, first Jared and then Jensen found that they could control the shift and bring about a transformation into their new animal forms on command. After the incredible pain of the first time, the rearrangement of their bodies was almost effortless.

Charles and the research staff insisted that they remain in the medical wing for the time being, just in case. Jensen had been inclined to argue, but the stares he received during a quick trip back to his quarters for fresh clothes – most merely curious, but some more hostile – had convinced him. It might be cowardly to avoid the rest of the population of Sector Two, but he preferred to think of it as having the good sense to conserve his energy dealing with the mess his life had become.

Word had spread about what had happened to him and Jared, and Jensen caught sight of faces peering around corners and pressed to glass trying to get a glimpse of them. Those same faces would flinch away when addressed directly, as if afraid of catching whatever disease infected Jensen. Only the members of their immediate research group acted remotely normal around them. Katie made it a point of calling him "Bird Boy", and he could have kissed her for feeling comfortable enough around him to poke fun at him.

Still, Jensen felt out of sorts, uncomfortable in his own skin. He found himself pulling away from Jared, even though the last thing he wanted to do was hurt the other man. He just found it hard to believe that Jared would still want to be with a freak like him. Which made no logical sense, given that Jared was in exactly the same boat, but Jensen's brain didn't seem to be working on its normal levels these days.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to Jared one late night as they huddled in the same bed after the daily tests had finally ended. "I don't deserve you." _I'm sorry I've been so selfish. I'm sorry to have been so caught in my own pain that I haven't taken care of yours._

"Yes, you do," was all that Jared said, but he allowed Jensen to take him in his arms. It was their first kiss since their transformation, and it was as gentle as a summer breeze through the maples of their copse. They were under too much surveillance to take it much further than that, and Jensen longed for an escape. He wondered if his brief happiness with Jared was lost forever and if this was the only intimacy they would be allowed to have.

The next morning, he pulled Charles aside to speak with him privately.

"What's going to happen to us?" he asked bluntly, folding his arms across his chest and checking to make sure that Jared was safely out of the room.

The other man sighed and scrubbed at his face before letting his hands drop helplessly to his side.

"Medically? I don't know," he said honestly. "We're doing our best, but even with Jill's help we still don't have much in the way of answers. None of our usual blood-scrubbing techniques have been helpful for removing the…additions made to your systems. Whatever was done with your genetic code is beyond anything that any of us has seen, and that's saying something. Some of the scientists from Geda III should be here in a day or two to investigate the Max situation and help out with the research, but…."

"Not sure I want them messing around with us anyway," Jensen said.

"You don't trust them?" Charles asked quietly.

Jensen stared at the floor. "I don't trust anyone," he admitted. "Except our team, and maybe Jill. Not after everything that's happened. But you didn't really answer my question. Assuming that what Max did can't be reversed…what's going to happen to us?"

Charles shook his head in confusion, and then his eyes widened.

"Jensen, if you're thinking…look, nothing's going to happen _to you_ against your will, if that's what you're worried about."

"You sure about that?" Jensen challenged. "What if they want to take us back to Geda III? What if they want to keep studying us for the rest of our lives?"

Charles's expression darkened. "You really think we'd let that happen? You want to leave right now? There's the door. I won't stop you." His voice softened, more hurt than frustrated. "Fuck, Jensen. I know you've been through a lot, but you guys are our friends."

It was the hurt in Charles's voice that caused the omnipresent fear and anger that had eaten away at Jensen for the last week – mostly on Jared's behalf – to begin to ebb.

"I'm sorry," he said honestly. "God, I didn't mean it like that."

Charles waved it away. "Like I said, you've been through a lot." And Jensen knew that that was that, over and done, which was just part of made Charles such an invaluable friend. "I just wish there was something I could do to make this easier on you guys," he continued.

Jensen blinked as a sudden thought came to his mind.

"Maybe there is," he said. "Do you know if anyone is scheduled to work in the grasslands today?"

Charles ended up doing them one better by not only clearing the grasslands, but convincing the doctors to let them leave unsupervised for a while. He escorted Jared and Jensen to one of the little-used side exits near the medical quarters that led out onto the path that circled the main research building and brought them to the vast prairie that sprawled on the crumpled ground at the base of the dormant volcano. He pressed a couple of extra com badges into Jensen's hand and returned to the building without much more than a wave and a _see you later_.

They weren't truly alone – not with the com badges and the medical sensors they still both wore – but Jensen was indescribably grateful for the illusion of privacy. He turned to see Jared sniffing the air, the light in his eyes finally starting to overwhelm the stress and pallor that had dominated his features during the last week.

"What's all this about?" he asked Jensen.

Jensen shrugged. "I thought you might like to stretch your legs a bit," he said obliquely, still shying away from directly mentioning the changes they had both been through. Luckily, Jared knew exactly what he was talking about, and his grin brightened his entire face.

Without another word Jared stripped off his clothes and dropped them in a pile at his feet. He settled his shoulders back and gave a full-body shiver, breathing deeply of the cool air. Jensen did his best to focus on their surroundings and give Jared a small measure of the privacy they'd both been lacking recently, but it was difficult. The morning sun turned the skin of Jared's back golden, highlighting the muscles across his shoulders and the taper of his waist, and Jensen swallowed hard and refused to let his gaze drift any lower. That wasn't what this was about right now.

The shift this time was almost instantaneous, and before Jensen could do more than conjure up a painful memory of the traumatic first transformation, a large golden cougar stood in front of him scenting the morning air. It cocked its head at Jensen and rubbed its face against his thighs, playful as a domestic cat, and Jensen knelt down with a laugh and rubbed the soft nap between its ears.

"Ugh, you are so gross," he said fondly, wincing as a sandpaper-rough tongue smeared across his cheek. "Now, go on. You know you want to."

The cougar – Jared – turned around in a quick circle and then was off across the grasslands like an arrow loosed from a bow. Jensen shielded his eyes with his hand and watched as the large cat tore across the ground at incredible speed, graceful and deadly. Within moments it was out of sight, and Jensen settled on the ground to wait and watch unworried. It couldn't have been more than twenty minutes before the large animal appeared in sight again, approaching and then veering away before finally bowling Jensen over as he laughed in sheer delight. And then it was off again, as if unable to contain the restless energy that it had managed to cage for the last week.

Jensen stood and watched as the cougar once again circled out of sight to the north-west before finally removing his own clothing. He knew it was beyond silly to be shy in front of Jared, after everything they had been through – especially when the other man was in his animal form – but Jensen didn't seem to be able to manage Jared's level of easy acceptance. Jared wore his other skin as if he had been born to it, while Jensen still felt awkward and unwieldy.

With an unsteady breath, Jensen dropped his own clothes in a pile on top of Jared's and concentrated on the pull in his gut, allowing the change to wash over him.

It was over almost as soon as it had begun, and he shook out his wings with a piercing cry, bending down to nudge the feathers across his breast into place with his beak. He gave an ungraceful hop as he almost overbalanced and his wings automatically lifted and beat the air, pinions spreading as he rose a foot into the air before landing with an awkward scramble. The more primitive side of his brain that always seemed ascendant at these times crooned _yes_ and _more_ in satisfaction, and with a deep breath Jensen did his best to shut off his human mind and let instinct take over.

This time he deliberately pushed himself aloft as his wings tore at the air. His talons left the ground and the powerful muscles across his breastbone strained as he climbed upwards, rising jerkily into the sky. The ghostly image of Geda hung omnipresent in the morning sky, and Jensen flew toward the gossamer rings in a series of widening spirals.

He almost fell from the sky the first time he let himself look downward, the more human fear of heights momentarily overcoming the part of his brain that insisted that it was good and right for him to be here in this place, as comfortable as one of the fish in his beloved lake. His wings automatically cupped the air and kept him aloft in a gentle glide, and before long Jensen found he was comfortable enough to deliberately climb higher.

The grasslands spread out below him to the broad base of the volcano to the west. With his sharp eyes Jensen could see the low buildings of Sector Two surrounding the large bio-dome to the east. The river that he knew lay a dozen miles to the south glinted like metal on the edge of the horizon. Jensen felt a wild joy fill him, and he let out a cry that he could hear echoed in the screams of the cougar below.

He didn't know how long he stayed aloft, but his muscles were burning as he finally glided back to the ground and landed a trifle unsteadily. Jared was standing fully dressed next to Jensen's pile of discarded clothes, and he shielded his eyes with a long hand as he watched Jensen's descent with a look of wonder. Jensen let the change take over him and rose from the ground on his two feet, fully human once again but feeling oddly heavy, as if in mourning for the air he had left behind. He took his clothes from Jared's hand, but before he could put them on Jared cupped his face and drew him in.

"That was…Jensen, that was incredible," Jared breathed. "You were flying! What was it like?"

He sounded awed and envious and wistful all at the same time, and it washed away any nerves Jensen might have felt about letting Jared see him like this. He wished he could have shared with Jared the wild wonder of what it felt like to fly, the sheer rightness of claiming the air as something owed to him, but he couldn't find the words.

Instead, Jensen twined his hands in Jared's hair and brought him in for a kiss, and Jared melted against him willingly. The bunched muscles of his back tightened under Jensen's hands, and Jensen could feel the coiled strength and speed that lay beneath the skin. The sun burned in the sky against the naked skin of Jensen's body as he bit at Jared's lips, and Jared moaned against him with the sound of the wind through feathers.

_Yes_ , he thought. _It felt exactly like this._

 

********************

 

The conference with the leaders of Geda III took place three days later on one of the large interstellar transport ships that had room to hold representatives from both species in comfort.

The ship hovered above Terra Mons at an altitude of two kilometers. The shuttle from Sector Two reached it in a matter of minutes. Jensen and Jared sat silently inside, clutching each other's hands, while Charles and Misha sat in the row behind with Jill up front as co-pilot. Jensen stared out the window of the shuttle at the approaching ship. Max and his conspirators had been sent on ahead in a separate shuttle, and Jensen wondered what the other Gedans would do. How would he and Jared be treated? Were they still Conservators? Were they still human?

The shuttle docked with a jolt, and Jensen's attention was drawn away from his dark musings. He stood up, making sure to keep firm hold of Jared's hand. Whatever else happened, they were in this together.

The meeting itself felt disturbingly like one of the scientific conferences that Jensen had used to attend back in the days when he was still a normal human. Charles stood at the front of the room and presented his evidence, presenting the test results from the last week that showed how their DNA had been modified and augmented. The Gedans nodded and murmured to themselves, asking the occasional question.

It should have been fascinating, especially given Jensen's close and personal interest in the situation, but he found himself tired and distracted. He couldn't ignore the way that the Gedans looked and him and Jared with a gleam in their eyes as if they were specimens under a microscope. He managed to sit stoically as the 3-D video of their first transformations was played for the audience, even though the sound of Jared's recorded screams made him want to tear his own ears off.

The intensity of the Gedan officials increased when Max was finally brought in for questioning.

The Gedan who had injected them seemed clearly puzzled by the proceedings, as if still unaware that Jensen and Jared hadn't given their full and clear consent to being his test subjects.

"But it worked," he kept saying, as if that was the solution to all of their questions. "Do you not realize that my theories were proven correct?"

As distasteful as the Gedans clearly found it for their DNA to be introduced into a human subject, Jensen didn't miss the gleam of excitement in the eyes of their scientists.

"Great wrong has been done these two humans, of that we are in clear agreement," one of the Gedan senators rose to say. "And yet…would it be so bad to admit that good could arise from this evil? This heretofore untried therapy could, under the right circumstances, lead to better adaption of both our species. New medical breakthroughs may arise."

"After all we have done for the humans, I'm sure they would be amenable to any reasonable requests we might make," another senator spoke in agreement.

Jensen could feel Jared shaking in the seat next to him, and he wrapped his arm around the other man's shoulders in a tight squeeze of support before standing and interrupting.

"We are not your test subjects," he growled. "What was done to us was an assault, and we do not consent to further experimentation. You've taken your pound of flesh, and more. Study what you have, because you're not getting anything more from us."

Jensen felt more than saw Charles and Misha rise in silent support behind him, along with – to his surprise – Jill.

"I do not understand," the senator said. "Your job as Conservator obligates you to modify the DNA of many Earth species in order to better survive on Geda II. Is this truly any different?"

Jensen snorted in disgust and took Jared's hand, looking down with an unspoken question. Jared rose with a nod, and the two of them walked hand in hand down the row of Gedan rulers and scientists. As they left the conference room, Jensen heard Charles speak, his voice slow and heavy with a dangerous edge to it.

"I see," he said. "I suppose it is no different, if you consider humans to be the moral equivalent of an eel or a mosquito. I must say, this has been a truly revealing discussion. Have you shared these thoughts with our President Ullrich? I'm sure she'd find them…enlightening."

The door closed behind them, and Jared collapsed back against the wall of the outer hallway. "God," he breathed. "That was…."

Jensen swallowed heavily. "Yeah," was all he managed to say. He wasn't one of these who considered the Gedans to be altruistic gods – there were good ones and bad ones, just like with humans. Still, he was truly shaken by the idea that, to some of them, he and Jared and the rest of humanity were something other than what the Gedans were. Something _lower_ , something that didn't deserve quite the same rights. The idea that some of the senators acted as if humanity owed them a debt hundreds of years old made him sick. After the many years they had worked together…did they all think that way? Did Jill see them that way?

"Come here," Jensen murmured, and Jared moved closer and leaned his body against Jensen. Jensen took his weight without complaint, suddenly remembering that Jared had still been in school a few months ago. He was too young for this. They were both too young.

"Whatever happens," he said to Jared, "we're in it together. I'm not leaving you."

Jared snorted and gave Jensen a weak but genuine smile. "Well, that's good," he said, "because you're not getting rid of me so easily."

Jensen didn't know how long they stood together, but eventually the doors to the conference room slid open. Max exited, followed by two Gedan guards. Charles and Misha followed behind, along with the main Gedan representative who acted as the chair of the proceedings. Misha nodded in relief when he saw Jared and Jensen and moved to stand next to them.

"They're taking Max back to Geda III," he said quietly. "He'll be confined to the main city, and he's been stripped of his research position. He won't be allowed to work with humans again."

"Good," Jared said in a rough voice, fixing Max with a hard look. "And what about us?"

Misha nodded. "The vote passed easily. You will not be subject to further experimentation or testing without your explicit permission, and only under the supervision of at least three human scientists. I think some of them are still hoping to persuade you to comply voluntarily, but I told them they'd have to go through me first." Misha smiled the sharp smile that reminded Jensen so much of a shark.

"Cowards," Max spat, and Jensen froze in shock. He had never heard one of the Gedans speak so emotionally and with such obvious anger. "I gave you this gift," he said to the chair of the council. "And you're just going to abandon it? After all of the work I have done? You don't deserve the miracle I worked on your behalf!"

Max grabbed the gun from the belt of the nearest guard and pointed it at the wall with shaky hands.

"If you can't appreciate my gifts, you don't deserve to have them!" he said.

Before anyone could react, Max pressed the trigger and a jagged hole was torn in the skin of the ship. Wild winds roared through the opening, throwing Jensen to the floor and ripping Jared's hand from him. He watched in horror as Max seized Jared by the scruff of the neck and, without another word, tossed him through the opening.

"No!"

The cry was torn from Jensen's lips, and without thought or plan he scrambled to his feet and dove through the opening behind Jared.

The wind roared in his ears and whipped tears from Jensen's eyes as he fell faster and faster. He scanned the air below him frantically and caught side of Jared's body not far below. Jensen straightened his own body like an arrow and plunged straight downward toward Jared, hoping against hope that he'd reach the other man in time.

"Please please please," he heard himself repeated under the breath, a prayer and a mantra.

There was no time to plan, no time to come up with the foolproof method that was guaranteed a success rate of at least 99.8% Jensen went by instinct alone, trying ignore the way the ground was rushing up to meet them. There was no room for fear.

He reached Jared in a jolting midair collision. Jared had instinctively stretched out his arms and legs, making himself as large a target as possible, and Jensen was grateful for the air resistance that allowed him to catch up to Jared. He grabbed Jared around the waist and turned them so they faced each other, aware that he only had precious seconds to make this work.

"Hold on to me!" he shouted fiercely. "No matter what happens, you hold on to me. You understand?"

Jared's voice was hoarse from screaming, but he managed to croak out a shocked _yes_ before twining his arms around Jensen's neck and his long legs around Jensen's thighs. Jensen let his eyes slam shut, trying to ignore the landscape growing closer and closer. They were out of time.

The change had become automatic, but this time Jensen didn't let the automatic happen. Without plan, without knowing how other than knowing that he _must do this thing_ , Jensen let the change begin and then… _pushed_.

His bones hollowed, but his frame otherwise remained human. Wings sprang from his shoulder blades, oversized and heavy, the dark brown wings of an eagle tipped with golden tarsal feathers. Jensen had flown in his bird form on the single instance that he had had the chance to leave the lab and take to the skies, but he had no idea if it was something he was capable of in the form of this half-human mutation.

Without another thought, he wound his arms around Jared's waist and opened his wings.

The wings caught the air with a jolt that made Jensen cry out, afraid that they would be ripped from his body. He almost lost his grip on Jared, but Jared clung to him with what felt like a cougar's strength. Jensen gritted his teeth and did his best to keep his wings spread wide. It wasn't a true flight by any stretch of the imagination, but the wings acted enough like a parachute to gradually slow their decent. Jensen just didn't know if it would be enough. They were still approaching the ground too fast for his liking.

He tried to experiment, frantically angling his wings in an attempt to turn their downward plunge into more of a horizontal glide. It worked, barely, and Jensen noted with relief that they had fallen far enough from Terra Mons that they were over the softer grasslands at its base.

"Brace yourself," he warned Jared, taking a deep breath, and then they were hitting the ground. It was clumsy, too hard and too fast. They rolled over on the hard earth and Jensen hissed as feathers were torn from his wings and skin from his legs. But then the world around them stopped moving and they were huddled together on the warm ground, sore and aching but unquestionably alive.

Jared was shaking as he still clung tightly to Jensen, and the clinical part of Jensen's brain cataloged it as a normal response to the sudden release of adrenaline into the bloodstream. He knew he wasn't in much better shape. His heart felt as if it would pound out of his chest, and he couldn't bring himself to loosen his shaking fingers from the back of Jared's shirt.

They lay there together in stunned surprise at being alive, and it was a few minutes before Jared raised his head. He sat up gingerly, wincing as he pulled Jensen up to sit beside him.

"Are you okay?" Jensen asked.

Jared laughed a little hysterically. "Am I okay? Jesus. I'm alive. Holy _fuck_ , I'm alive. You saved me, Jen." He turned to Jensen, and his eyes widened as he got a good look at Jensen's wings for the first time. "Are _you_ okay?"

Jensen nodded shakily. His legs were scraped to hell by the impact, and he felt as someone had tried unsuccessfully to tear his arms and wings from his body, but he too was alive and in one piece. Jared reached out to smooth a hand over the nearest wing, a look of awe in his eyes.

"Do me a favor," he said to Jensen. "Next time you take me flying? Let's start from ground level. And maybe work on your landings a bit?"

"Fine by me," Jensen shot back, "as long as you lose some weight first. Your ass is too heavy to carry for long."

And then they collapsed back on the ground, laughing hysterically as the tension finally abated.

As Jared finally helped him to his feet, Jensen noticed that it was late afternoon. Although the day was warm, the evening hours would cool off quickly.

"Do you think they're okay?" Jared asked, his gaze fixed on the sky.

"You know that class of ship has a force field that is activated within thirty seconds of any hull rupture. I'm sure they're just fine." Jensen spoke confidently, but he wasn't too sure. If Max had had time to throw anyone else through that opening before the force field was activated…he turned his mind away from darker thoughts and focused on their own survival. "I'm sure Charles and Misha are back at Sector Two right now organizing a search for us. In the meantime, though, we should probably find somewhere more sheltered to wait."

The good news about being Conservators was that they knew the surrounding hundred square miles like the back of their hand. Jared knew that there was rocky ground a few miles further to the west, and Jensen pointed out a stream that flowed a few miles north of that. Both of them knew that there were no large predators in the area, Jared expressing relief that he hadn't finished work on the new wolf habitat yet.

The only problem was that Jensen couldn't force his half-transformation to reverse itself. He tried his usual tricks to switch back to human, but nothing worked. In desperation, he tried to force his form all the way to bird, but that didn't work either. He gave Jared a look of alarm.

"I think I'm stuck this way."

Jared looked mildly worried, but refused to consider that the change might be permanent. "You remember how hard it was to choose to shift back the first few times?" he reminded Jensen. "I'm sure that's all it is. Once everything calms down, I'm sure you'll be back to normal without even thinking about it. And speaking of shifting…your legs are a mess."

And with that, Jared pulled off his shirt, shoes and pants, undressing all the way down to the skin while Jensen watched and tried to pretend that he wasn't watching. Jared handed Jensen his clothes with a knowing smirk.

"Fun times later. In the meantime, the sun is going to be setting soon and you don't look like you can walk too well in that condition. We'll get there faster this way.

And then Jared's form shimmered as if in a heat mirage, and a large cougar stood in his place. He butted his golden head against Jensen's stomach and then stretched out on the ground like an oversized housecat. When Jensen shook his head in confusion, Jared gave him a look that clearly said, _Come on, what are you waiting for?_ And Jensen finally got it.

"You've got to be kidding me," he said, but carefully climbed onto Jared's back with Jared's clothes tucked close against him. The cougar stood with a lurch, and Jensen barely held on.

"Careful," he scolded, but Jared just snorted disdainfully and took off toward the northwest with a graceful lope.

By the time the sun set, they had drunk their fill of the stream and reached one of the small rocky caves that became more common as they approached Terra Mons. Jared shifted back to human and dressed quickly, gathering some dry wood from the nearby copse. Jensen watched in fascination as Jared found flint and started a crackling fire at the mouth of the cave.

"I used to go camping with my brothers and sisters," he explained. "It's pretty easy to do once you learn how."

The night grew chill around them and Jensen stretched his hands to the fire with a wince. The muscles of his upper back had tightened up after their sudden overuse, and the pain was enough to make him gasp aloud.

"Hey," Jared said softly. "You're hurt. Mind if I take a look?"

"It's nothing," Jensen said, but Jared settled down behind him anyway, his long legs on either side of Jensen's hips. Jensen cringed, thinking about how unnatural he must look back there.

"You don't have to," he said shakily. Jared said nothing, just laid his palm flat against the bare skin between Jensen's shoulder blades. The heat from his hand bled into Jensen's skin, making him sigh in comfort. Jensen's shirt had been torn from his body during the midair transformation, and there was nothing between Jared's flesh and his own.

Jared ghosted his hands over the base of the wings reverently, and if he was disgusted by the sight, there was no sign of it in his touch.

"Does this hurt?" he asked, kneading his thumbs gently into the muscle around the base of the wings. Just that small touch was enough to make Jensen gasp and arch away, but he forced himself to relax back into Jared's hands.

"Yeah," he admitted, "but it's a good hurt. Keep going."

Jared kept the massage slow and even, gradually adding more pressure until Jensen felt the knots in his back loosen and release. The fire was warm against his bare stomach and Jared's hand lay hot against his back. Jensen found his wings lifting and fluttering, almost without his permission. Jared smoothed his hand across the top of the wing and straightened the bent feathers.

"Can I?" he asked, and there was a hoarseness to his voice that made Jensen shudder, heat pooling in the pit of his stomach. He quickly nodded his consent, then almost moaned in delight as Jared's fingers carded through the feathers of his wings. Jensen had no idea that his wings were so sensitive in this form, and he felt his cock fill as Jared swept over and down his feathers. The tickle made him almost shivery with delight, and Jensen let his head fall forward with a moan as he felt Jared's lips press to the soft skin between his shoulder blades.

"You're beautiful like this," Jared whispered, his breath a warm kiss against Jensen's overheated skin. "So, so beautiful."

Jensen wasn't able to stand it for a second more. He twisted around and straddled Jared's lap, pulling a startled moan from Jared as his weight settled over Jared's cock. He tilted Jared's head back – finally taller than him in this position – and then they were kissing, finally kissing.

They rocked together mindlessly as they kissed, biting into each other's necks and clutching at each other's backs. They pulled apart briefly to kick their pants off and then came greedily back together for more. The hot skin of Jared's cock branded the sensitive skin of Jensen's inner thigh, and Jensen shamelessly rubbed his own erection against the flat hardness of Jared's lower abdomen as they rutted together. As Jared ducked his head to fasten his mouth around a nipple, Jensen let his head fall back with a cry of delight. His wings spread wide as his back arched, and in the firelight his shadow against the side of the cave looked like a debauched angel.

Jensen had forgotten how much lighter his frame was in this half-transformed form, and he gasped in arousal as Jared's massive hands settled around his waist and effortlessly lifted and resettled him until Jared's cock lay snug in the crack of Jensen's ass. Jensen wound his fingers in Jared's hair and attacked his mouth again, pulling until Jared growled with the low rumble of the cougar.

There were no words between them, just a sense of _finally, finally_. They arched and rubbed together wantonly out in the open in the big wide world like any other animals, and when the head of Jared's cock caught the edge of his hole Jensen shouted and came. Jared clutched him tight enough to leave bruises and came himself against the thin skin of Jensen's perineum within a few more thrusts.

Jared collapsed onto his back with a happy sigh, pulling Jensen down to rest against his chest. Jensen spread his wings wide enough to cover them both. He knew he should probably make an effort to clean them both up, wipe away the area were Jared had spent warm and wet against him, but before he knew it he had drifted off to sleep.

 

********************

 

They were awakened by the whine of a shuttle engine. Jensen cracked an eye open and found himself still cuddled against Jared's naked body. The fire had died down to embers, although the enough heat remained that the cave was still pleasantly warm. From the look of the sky outside, it was the dark hour just before the dawn.

Jensen shook Jared awake when he heard the murmur of voices and caught sight of a flashlight beam sweeping over the area.

"Jensen? Jared? Are you here?"

It was Charles's voice, and Jensen smiled in relief. "We're here," he called hoarsely. The beam of the flashlight bobbed closer and then Charles stuck his head inside the cave. He grinned widely when he caught sight of them, then his eyes widened and he looked away with an awkward cough.

"We'll, uh, wait for you to get decent," he said, then disappeared.

"Shit," Jensen cursed, looking down at where their naked bodies were still entwined together. Jared threw back his head with a booming laugh.

"Well, it'll make a great story to tell our grandkids," he said. "We should probably get dressed. Oh!" he looked at Jensen in surprise. "The wings are gone."

Jensen looked over his own shoulder. Sure enough, the transformation had reversed itself while he'd been asleep.

"I'm almost sorry to see them go," Jared murmured. "They were pretty hot. Think you can do that again some day?"

"No promises," Jensen said primly, but the words were belied by the filthy smile that crept across his face.

The ride back in the shuttle with Charles and Jill had each of them talking over the others to fill everyone in on what had happened.

The force field had snapped into place before anyone else had fallen through, and the ship had managed to limp to a landing field on the other side of the volcano. Max had been taken away in custody, heavily sedated. The Gedan representatives were highly apologetic, expressing their condolences for the loss of two such promising young Conservators until Charles had yelled at them to shut the hell up and stop mourning before he'd even had a chance to perform a search and rescue.

"Under normal circumstances, I would have asked for a retrieval unit instead of a search and rescue," he said gravely. "There's no way anyone should have been able to survive that fall. But…I felt that you two had made it. I can't explain how."

"We almost didn't," Jared said, taking hold of Jensen's hand and giving him a squeeze.

The bio-dome of Sector Two came into view through the windows of the shuttle. Normally the sight would have excited Jensen. It was his home, the place he had chosen to devote his life's work, the site of so many happy hours with Jared and his team. But this time, he was filled with melancholy. Although the Gedan senators had promised to leave them alone, Jensen couldn't forget what they had said about emergent technologies and continued testing. He and Jared didn't fit in among the rest of the humans there anymore. They were freaks, suddenly separate from the world around them. Jared squeezed Jensen's hand again, as if aware of the tenor of his thoughts.

"It's never going to be the same again, is it?" Jared said wistfully.

Charles looked back and forth between the two of them and shook his head. "Probably not," he said honestly.

Jill glided the shuttle to smooth stop in the landing bay, and for a long moment the four of them sat there unmoving.

"We could always transfer you to one of the less populated sectors," Charles said, but he clearly hated the idea. "I mean, word about you will get out eventually, but you might be able to avoid most of the publicity there."

"Or we could leave the Conservator program, go settle in one of the sparsely populated areas," Jensen said, and it was as if the words were ashes in his mouths. This was the job that both of them had dreamed of and spent so many years training to do, and giving it up felt like removing a limb.

"Or we could do exactly what we were trained to do," Jared said firmly, looking up with a light in his eyes. "We've spent so many generations perfecting the terraforming process. Why not spread our wings a bit? No pun intended," he said, catching Jensen's eye.

Charles blinked. "You're talking about leaving Geda II? Starting over somewhere else?"

"I'm talking about Project Revenio," Jared said, and Jensen's breath caught in his throat at the mention of a plan that existed only in legend, passed down from one storyteller to another. "I'm talking about terraforming the one place in the galaxy that is most suited for it."

"Earth," Jensen breathed.

It was astounding in its audacity. No one had seriously considered returning to Earth in several generations. The only records of the project were generations old and had included almost no real details. It was absolutely insane to think about actually turning Revenio from a name to a reality, but Jensen couldn't stop thinking about their earlier discussion under the trees and the way Jared's eyes had lit up with the fire of an explorer before they'd shared their first kiss.

"You're not serious," Charles said. "Right? Tell me you're not serious."

Jensen stared at Jared, almost unable to breathe, and Jared stared right back. The moment twisted between them, caught on a knife's edge. Jensen knew with utter certainty that, no matter what his decision, this was a node. A thousand threads spread out in front of him from the knot of this present moment, full of futures he had never even dreamed as a possibility.

"Why not?" Jensen answered for both of them, and Jared squeezed his hand in approval.

"There's no way to know what you'd find there," Charles warned, but his eyes were bright with excitement. "It could be damaged beyond repair."

"And it might not," Jared shot back. "Hell, there might still be humans living there! But there's no way we'll know unless we go there ourselves."

"I can't believe we're even considering this," Charles said with a shaky laugh.

"We?" Jensen asked hopefully.

"Damn right, we," Charles said. "You think I'm letting the two of you go off and possibly make one of the biggest scientific discoveries in history without me? Besides, it's a long flight, even at faster-than-light speeds. Someone has to keep the two of you out of trouble for all those weeks."

Jared laughed in delight and gave Charles another one of his hugs that had Charles wincing and rubbing his ribs afterward.

"We'll have to plan this carefully," he warned them both. "No use going off half-cocked. If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right. I doubt we'd be ready to leave any sooner than six weeks Probably eight, if we're being honest. That means doubling your workload, Ackles. You think you can handle it?"

"Yes, sir," Jensen said, sketching a salute.

"Wiseass," Charles muttered. "That also means picking the right team – and I have a feeling Felicia will just end up stowing away if you don't choose her, so you might as well put her on the list right now. That leaves a ship, of course. Jill, do you think you can help us out?"

The Gedan had been listening quietly to their discussion, but Jensen didn't miss the flush of excitement in her cheeks.

"After everything that has happened, I don't think we'll have a problem convincing the representatives to donate one of their interstellar ships for such a promising research project," she said with a smile. "And of course, you already have a pilot."

"We do?" Charles said.

"You're coming?" Jensen asked with a grin.

"If you will have me, I would be honored," she said, offering the proper bow. "Besides, I don't believe any of you are qualified to pilot a ship on your own."

They finally left the rescue shuttle the plan falling into place around them. Charles insisted that Jensen and Jared make one more visit to the medical wing to get their cuts and scrapes tended to, and they grudgingly agreed.

The stares they received as they walked through the complex – couldn't dampen Jensen's spirits. When they finally reached their lab, Kim, Katie and Felicia were there to greet them, and their smiles were as warm as ever. Misha popped his head and deposited a bottle of champagne on the table – in honor, he said, of their continued survival.

"Just so you know," Jared said, speaking low into Jensen's ear and making him shiver, "I plan on showing up in your quarters in an hour and putting that to good use."

In reality, it took about three hours before Jensen got the chance to escape back to his quarters and found Jared there waiting for him, sprawled out on the couch with Chewie in a comfortable pile of shaggy limbs on the ground. Jensen almost tripped over the massive dog, who merely raised his head indignantly at the disturbance before settling back into a doze. Jensen shook his head in amusement.

"How is it that your beast is completely unfazed with everything that has happened?" he asked. "Shouldn't it bother him that his human turns into a giant cat on a semi-regular basis?"

Jared smiled and regarded Chewie adoringly. "Huh. Guess animals really are the smart ones, right buddy?" Chewie thumped his tail against the ground in reply.

"I wish the human animals were as understanding," Jensen said softly, and Jared pulled him down to collapse in exhaustion on the sofa. He took hold of one of Jensen's hands and played idly with his fingers. Misha's bottle of champagne sat in a puddle of condensation on the end table, and Jensen thought momentarily about going to get glasses before deciding that he was too comfortable to move.

"Still want to go through with this?" Jared asked after a long moment. "Leaving Geda II, finding Earth?"

Jensen couldn't make out what Jared was thinking from the sound of his voice, and it made him nervous. Maybe Jared had changed his mind. Maybe he didn't want to leave Sector Two. Worse, maybe he did – but not with Jensen.

"Hey, it was your idea," he said defensively, only half joking.

"Yeah, it was," Jared said. "And it still is. But…do you still want to come with me? Because I know we didn't really get a chance to talk about it, and if you want to back out…."

He seemed so young and unsure all of a sudden, and Jensen found it amazing that someone as self-assured as Jared didn't know the answer to that. How could he not read the truth that Jensen felt must be written on the fabric of his skin?

Jensen settled back against the arm of the sofa and pulled Jared to lie on top of him between his spread legs. Jared settled in with a happy sigh, his weight just too much and utterly perfect, and nosed against Jensen's cheek with a sound that could almost be a purr.

"I already told you," Jensen breathed against Jared's ear. "Whatever happens, we're in this together. And I meant that."

Jared's answering smile said everything without words, _thank you_ and _I believe you_ and _love_ in the curve of his mouth and the cut of his dimples, and Jensen made sure to murmur the words right back to him in between deep, drugging kisses.

He knew it wouldn't be easy. The thought of the undertaking they were attempting was head-splitting in its complexity, but Jensen made himself set aside his worries and plans and focused solely on the heated rub of the body against his own. Even after everything that had been done to him, he had hope and he had friends, and he had a plan to chase a dream he had had since childhood.

And, most importantly, he had Jared.

 

**The End**


End file.
